Posted by IsoM on October 30, 2002, at 18:39:04
In reply to Re: Educate members » Dr. Bob, posted by Zo on October 30, 2002, at 17:06:53
Bob, Zo's post contains some a very strong reason why I wouldn't feel comfortable filling in as a deputy moderator when you can't be monitoring things here.
Zo said "Normal people *care* when it is brought to their attention that they are being hurtful. Normal people have an inborn *strong* desire to attend to that." Well, maybe I'm naive but that's what I believe to. I dislike blocking anyone unless it's obvious to ALL that someone is being very rude & crude. I've seen it in other forums & there's no doubt in anyone's mind when someone really intends to hurt another or to tell them their opinions mean sh*t to them.
I've seen this happen in the PB boards very, very rarely. Yes, there's always some jerks in this world who's only purpose is to make trouble but these forums have had very few. If someone has posted something that's hurt or offended another, usually a mention that it could be understood to be hurtful to some will be enough for the poster to come back & apologize, or the other to say they reacted to quickly. This thread is a perfect example of how we can get along without interference:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021010/msgs/31148.htmlYes, it's unrealistic to believe that everyone will get along all the time. It's also unrealistic to believe that everyone intends good all the time. But I've found that assuming that people mean the best & seriously wish to help, not put down, others, the best is truly brought to the fore. A genuine warmth & understanding will develop & the group will tend to moderate itself with feedback from each other. Rarely will a moderator need to step in.
In case others point to forums where none of this has proven true (& there's lots), note what sort of forum it is & what sort of posters use it. If you start a forum about heavy-metal music (& no! this isn't against anyone who enjoys it), you're going to attract a certain kind of poster. No sweet, old grannies or fuzzy-wuzzy posters, but lots of hard-core metal fans who swear lots & can be contentious.
There's a garden forum that I occasionally post to. Never has anyone been hurt in the slightest & there's no moderating of this site. Yes, I know fellow gardeners rarely have it in for each other (except for a midnight trip to a garden to dig up a coveted plant of a rival) but that's basically what this community is about - helping one another, but in mental & emotional help rather than gardening help.
See? if I was to help out, I'd be very naughty & want to unblock blocked posters. I'd be writing to Spike (anyone remember our other good doctor, besides Dr. Dave, who was so helpful?) asking them to come back. I really, REALLY miss their posts. Spike had occasional outbursts when his mania started to assert itself, but he was always kind & thoughtful.
So I'm sorry, Bob, I know you feel a need to strictly moderate these boards, but I would do so in a much more gentle & amiable manner. I would do my best to bring out the best in other posters & encourage feedback to iron out problems. I think it helps people with mental/emotional disorders grow & learn to better to get along. It's like sending a misbehaving child to its room each time it has a squabble with a friend rather than help the child learn acceptable social interaction.
I sincerely hope you can not only accept my view but believe it too. I think your site could grow & I don't mean in volume of posters.
poster:IsoM
thread:6905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/8020.html