Posted by Meltingpot on February 22, 2016, at 2:23:47
In reply to Re: Is it really a case of mind over matter?, posted by SLS on February 21, 2016, at 12:58:36
Hi Scott,
I suppose to me depression is loss of interest, lack of energy, inability to concentrate properly, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self criticism, inability to think clearly but not sadness.
I suppose I wonder though. When I came off all meds with the help of Zyprexa there were days here and there when I didn't feel too bad and felt almost like my old self but it's the anxiety that seems to come back most of all.
Whilst I was off my meds I signed up to go to a dance class, it's where you dance with lots of different partners and learn different moves. I got back from work and was pacing around my flat, having suicidal thoughts before I went to the dance class. I got to the dance class, with all of these strange people and every part of me wanted to RUN but I stayed and I faked it and I danced with lots of people and for just for a couple of hours I actually enjoyed it and felt almost normal, I think I even laughed. But then I got back home and it was back to the same old depression and anxiety.
Also, another thing, when I was off my meds I went on a date, again I was having suicidal thoughts and I just wanted to get through the date as quickly as possible and be intimate (I still enjoy sex) I went to the cinema with this guy, went for a drink with him afterwards and then sat in his car for a while. Again whilst I was there with him I actually enjoyed myself for a while and I laughed but then I got back home and it was back to normal again.
I guess I just seem to be able to pull myself out of it sometimes and I just wonder if maybe if you keep doing that then the depression and anxiety will be gone for good. But it's so exhausting to have to keep faking it.
Denise
poster:Meltingpot
thread:1086356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20160131/msgs/1086387.html