Posted by linkadge on August 26, 2013, at 10:11:36
In reply to Re: A peculiar kind of depression, posted by Sebastian Flyte on August 25, 2013, at 20:48:07
>I fell apart. And eight months later Humpty >Dumpty is still broken.
Ok so you're taking this hard. Really hard. But, if you convince yourself that this is the *cause* of the depression (rather than a contributing factor), then you are focusing on something that cannot change.
Being gay myself, I am very familiar with wanting things that I cannot have. I meet many people that I really connect with, but unfortunately, they're not gay. I know, too much detail. I'm just saying that I chose to focus on the positive things in my life (like coffee and my dog) and not on the things I can't. Its a logical decision with positive emotional ramifications.
>I don't want a relationship, per se. People who >go looking for them I don't understand at all. >Internet dating? Was that a joke? There is >someone for everyone...blah...blah...Who wants >someone? There's a Jill for every Jack. Who >wants Jill? I'd rather be a Carthusian, and may >yet become one.
I don't understand. You say you've met somebody (the only one) that is suitable. Can you imagine if the Wright Brothers became fixated on only one plane design and were unwilling to make adjustments? Life is about adaptation. People with depression have a hard time with emotional adaptation. I'm not saying its all chemical, but if you're ready to kill yourself because you can't have one particular individual than you must be living an otherwise boring life.
People kill themselves coming off heroin because they feel that life is not worth living without the drug. The will to live is all in the brain.
>Men who have affairs are incomprehensible to me. >People who look for sex without love are >incomprehensible to me.
Are there other social circles where one can meet quality individuals. A church perhaps?
>Your use of "adaptive" really misses the point >that what one is expected to adapt to may be >artificial.
What is artificial? The opposite of what is "real"? What is real? Not to get too matrixesque on you, but humans are always looking for a sense of permanence.
I get it, the brain is wired to want a relationship. I agree that this is natural just like the desire for food. However much I like steak, if steak is unavailable I will settle for pork. I won't kill myself because the first option is not available. Steak is as natural as it comes. But port is also ok.
The will to live comes from within. There are people who live for years in total darkness in solitary confinement. These people experience zero gratification from the external world. Yet, they decide to live based on a desire to preserve the internal.
Based on what I read, you are saying that the internal is not worth salvaging because the external is so crappy. Well change the external and the internal!
>I am now taking mirtazapine (I was thin before), >venlafaxine, and amphetamine (for the >depression).
From my experience venlafaxine / mirtazapine are not great for obsessiveness. Also, amphetamine can *definitely* increase obsessiveness. Amphetamine boosts PEA which is released when one is "in love". It can increase fixation.
Any experience with omega-3 or folic acid?
Is trazodone an option to replace mirtazapine? Mirtazapine can often make rumination / OCD worse.
Linkadge
poster:linkadge
thread:1049646
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130730/msgs/1049736.html