Posted by mbrational on July 12, 2012, at 1:57:13
In reply to Re: Re Instead...., posted by linkadge on July 11, 2012, at 21:28:16
When a person gets hit, it usually results in feeling anger, sadness, humiliation etc.. But many children don`t even allow themselves to feel those feelings because they have to preserve their image of a "good parent". (A child is not able to care for itself, its life depends on his parent therefore his prognosis is mighty bleak when it doesn`t have a "good parent"). So the child begins to twist the reality:
I was a pest,
I was a brat,
I deserved it,
It was a totally justified smacked,
I prefer my punishment quick."
Twenty years later the child defends his parents on a messageboard and passionately argues in favor of spanking, because it feels somewhat uneasy when the topic about physical punisment and mental illness comes up.
On the other hand there are some children that are courageous enough to feel their justified feelings of anger sadness and dissapointment when they get hit by their parents. Those are the adults that decide: "I am not going to do those things I was hurt by to any other person especially not to my own children.
Similarly some persons who are sexually abused as children become abusers themselves when they grow up, while others devote their lifes to fight against sexual abuse of children.Markus
poster:mbrational
thread:1021056
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1021189.html