Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Now for a heavily depressing post

Posted by Phil on July 5, 2012, at 11:41:23

How to live. I planned or assumed I would smoke myself to death. Quitting now may postpone that or it may not. My whole family has died from smoking related cancer. Despite my little e cig discovery things aren't so good....

Medications help MI, sometimes, but after 30 years of fighting, I know that I don't have much fight left.

I have two options in my immediate future, as an emotional wreck try to find a job or hope that SSDI is approved. Living with either option is incredibly depressing to me. I will either A. live or B. not live. If I was a gambler, I'd put those odds at 50-50.

It's not easy, is it?

Meds are partially effective but I've always struggled no matter what I was on. Therapy over the last several years has not moved me forward one inch. I guess this is the so called tipping point. Roll the dice.

Maybe tomorrow will be better...and maybe there's a Santa Claus.

But I still have my cat and my brother. Without them... The psych ward nurse called them my tethers. How long does a tether last? How long is a piece of string? Mental illness in full bloom. Stand still and suffer. I've gotten through this a hundred times but it's never been this bleak.

I share too much here. Maybe I should just say I don't feel good. But right now Babble is a lifeline because my cat doesn't speak English and I'd die waiting for my phone to ring and hear someone say, How are you? I think they know. Maybe they've heard enough. I can't blame them.


One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Phil thread:1020866
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1020866.html