Posted by Phil on June 5, 2012, at 11:41:52
In reply to Re: Acceptance Of What Can't Be Changed » Phil, posted by g_g_g_unit on June 5, 2012, at 8:39:26
My childhood was neglect and abuse and I'm not convinced that that alone didn't cause 90% of my problems. I'm not admitting failure and I'm not denying what I went through but I accept that that's my lot and I've worked very hard to deal with it. I can't change the past or deny my mental illness. I accept what is and try the best I can when I can.
I don't see acceptance as 'Oh, I've lost so much in life but I embrace that and everything will be all better.' But I can't deny the reality that I live and become bitter and resentful although I am much of the time. I accept it doesn't mean I like it.
Maybe I see acceptance as playing the hand I was dealt. I am no way admitting defeat because I'm still here, still trying. Will I ever get these past 30 years back that have been unbearable many times? Nope. But not accepting reality just serves to make me more bitter leading to more sickness.
If say Christopher Reeve didn't accept his reality he could have never been such an inspiration. If he became bitter and said why did I ride that day and why did this happen, he would have stayed in bed and become less than he was capable of. He had to accept the fact that life is unfair and then make a decision whether to give up or not.
I haven't worked in a year and a half and finally realized that I could either starve or file for disability and try to get better. Do I feel good about that after working since I was twelve? No, it hurts. But I've accepted that what is, is. I'm not beaten till I give up. In fact, to many of those that know me, I think they are inspired. Some love me more than I love me and I have to accept that too. Some may see me as a loser, beaten by life. Fine, maybe in their next life they can walk in my shoes. And yes, I figure my 58 years have been half lived and sometimes all I have to hang my hat on is that I didn't end it all. And for that, I think I have never admitted defeat. If I accepted myself as defeated, why live?
Sorry, long post..busy repeating myself.Life is good.
poster:Phil
thread:1018911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120522/msgs/1019275.html