Posted by SLS on May 21, 2012, at 13:50:49
In reply to So embarrassed over the past!, posted by Christ_empowered on May 20, 2012, at 22:10:15
I am not embarrassed by anything I did while in a depressed state. However, I was very much embarrassed by the things I did while in a psychotic manic state. People understand depression. They are familiar with it. Depressed people often remain invisible and don't have the motivation or energy to interact with their environment. However, in a manic state, there is an overabundance of energy such that one becomes extremely visible. People don't understand mania, especially when they witness someone in a psychotic state. It is very foreign to them. To others, my behaviors were bizarre and alien. While in a manic state, I did things and said things that had very little connection with reality. This was disconcerting to others. I imagine some resolved to distance themselves from me indefinitely. The worst thing about the mania was that I had lost control of myself. Mania is an altered state of consciousness. There is no sense of judgment to deliberate behaviors before acting on them. I wish the people who saw me in this state would forget what they had witnessed. Most of them never will.
Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.
- George Bernard Shaw