Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2012, at 15:48:29
I have to say this is not going to make alot of sense but I smoked some cannibis and it had a reverse effect on my mind that has still altered my mind, till this point. I smoked some thinking it would calm me down, and in a few minutues I was started to feel feelings of disorientation, confusion, and detachment from reality and intense adrenaline releasing because I felt that I had lost perception of reality and it felt vary much like a lucid dream. I started making random comments my whole life because I was at a party and I flipped and all I did was talk about bizarre things to people during the expiernice of random memories of my whole life. Before I have been much time in distress and crying to angelic forces by writing in it in direct words in my Journal and placed it upon my alter to the God of Israel, to to tell God to please send me a messanger, or a spirutal guide and during the awful time I had no one to tell the spiritual distess I was in. Your not going to believe this, and I assure you that this was not made up, but while I was laying awake Lucifer began to speak through this state of being in and out of consiousness that he heard my letter and came to me first, and told me that God sits there and does nothing. Seriously I have nothing to offer these entities, I don't have a job, I am slightly impaired in somethings that I do, and I don't have any charasterics that would attract anyone to be intrested in me. And still to this point I am trying to reason with myself, that the spirutual world doesnt exist and its all based upon mental imagninations. I just repeatedly feel that during that time I was disconnected from reality from the cannabis it litterly caused me to not feel real at all much like lucid dreaming, and It took me states of reality I have never been before and still I am in great doubt that any of this spiritual stuff is real, and really I want to believe that this is a delusion and all I need to do is get back to reality. I still cannot get the figure if all this is not real, I've had similar expieriences before and I made a fool out of myself by telling the imaginations of my mind that I thought where "devine" messages. Seriously I am aware this can happen, but what can I do from this point on?