Posted by torrid2 on January 28, 2012, at 10:24:47
In reply to Problems since starting lamictal, posted by yellowbird01 on January 27, 2012, at 13:58:32
I had a bad reaction to lamictal and became suisidal. I was on low dose and kept saying I don't feel right and the nurse who was writing it kept raising the dose and I just got worse. I had a lot of vertigo and balance issues from lamictal and those eymptoms accompanied the emotional decline. It wasn't exactly depression more anxiety but not exactly. I just wasn't write and gave up in my periferal contiousness. I wasn;t planning suicide but I saw what I was doing getting my affairs inorder kinda behavior. I think my subcontious mind desided that if I had just a little more pressure that I'd check out.
Now I'm going to say a liittle about what the situation was, Gosh it's so hard. I don't mean to be criptic but I'm not sure what my next sentence is going to be...
I had no family support, I had a child who had a number of surgerys the year prior. I broke down from the stress and lost my son when I was hospitalized. When there was no family member to take my son he went into foster care. Ok I said it. He was 2 years old and he's 8 now. My very serios suicide attempt on lamictal happened about 2 years after this and they just don't give your child back to mothers that have attempted suicide in the very very small county about an hour north of NYC.
Ok, not at all criptic.
Twice in my life I got suisidal from AD's in my 20's on prozac I felt either I needed a higher dose or the prozac was the cause, so I doubled my dose. I immediately felt worse and stopped takin the prozac and the suisidal feeling went away. It's not like me to ever give up and the two times AD's caused me to become suisidal, I didn't recognise myself. It wasn't depression it was just that on a subcontious level I'd become a quitter. All I can say is I DID NOT FEEL RIGHT.
OK now there's something I'd like to ask the readers. My son has been in foster care since he was 2 and 5-6 years later I'm on trial, my third trial in this case, yeas three bits at the apple. I'm on trial for the termination of my parential rights bassed on metal illness The on;y thing all the tests say is personality disorder NOS. Even though Borderlins personality didn't show on those tests, my 2 highest scores were avoidant and masocistic, they have an expert testifing that I'm BPD, you see there is legal president to terminate parential right on a BPD diagnosis.
Trial continues this Monday and the next trial date hasn't been schedualled. What I want to ask you is to pray or just send out your feeling of goodwill to me this Monday.