Posted by yellowbird01 on January 27, 2012, at 13:58:32
I started lamictal in late Oct and have been at 50mg since November-ish. In the past, I have recurrent major depression, nonresponsive to ADs... previously took stimulants (concerta) during my last major depression but stopped about a year ago and was off meds until starting the lamictal. Also some generalized anxiety and social anxiety ongoing but not severe. When I went back to pdoc in Oct, it was at the suggestion of my therapist for meds for social anxiety as my depression wasnt severe at the time. Pdoc suggested lamictal for mood stabilization so I took it.
The last few months, I find I'm feeling progressively more.. not myself. Just today it clicked that maybe this is related to the lamictal? I'm going to try to describe the changes I've noticed, as briefly as I can, and perhaps someone can point me in the right direction or share some ideas.
Like I said, I just dont feel right. I dont feel terribly depressed, not tearful, but do have a general wish to be dead often (although no serious desire to act on it). The biggest change in the last month or so is I frequently feel SO irritable... I find myself snapping at even my best friend over things that are totally ridiculous. I feel like I'm turning into a b****! I have days where I feel almost mildly hypomanic... more productive, more motivated to get things done, and it feels good.. but the irritability is almost always still there on some level if I'm interrupted by anything. Other days, I look at my to-do list and get totally overwhelmed and anxious with a sense of "this thing MUST be done", even things that are unimportant and can realistically wait for a few months or longer, but nothing gets done. Or I get fixated on one specific task (I must search every website high and low for the EXACT item I want to buy, etc). Again, nothing really gets done, but my anxiety and fixation on whatever it is is high. I've actually lost sleep a few nights while obsessing over the different ways to possibly do something (usually something minor). It's not productive at all. And there are days I feel normal... although not that frequent. I havent really identified a pattern to my moods/irritability/anxiety yet, but I am trying.
I've been reading a bit about "dysphoric hypomania" and also "agitated depression". Both terms resonate with me somewhat... but I'm not sure. I've never had manic episodes or these types of issues before. Could it be connected with the lamictal? Or is this just a new phase of my ongoing depression/etc issues? My next appt with pdoc isnt until March but I'm considering moving it up. Any thoughts would be very appreciated.