Posted by Christ_empowered on November 3, 2011, at 21:57:16
In reply to Re: More on Abilify...(long, sorry), posted by morgan miller on November 3, 2011, at 18:28:29
Hey Morgan.
I don't know why my shrink is against any antidepressant. Honestly, I don't even know if she actually heard what I said about the Celexa helping, or if she somehow heard what fit into her own thoughts on the subject (that antidepressants make voices worse). I told her "I got depressed on 30, started hearing voices, went on low-dose Celexa, and I got better. Then I dropped the Celexa after a few months," to which she responded "ahh yes, Lexapro can make voices and agitation worse. There's this other medication, called Clozaril..."
All too often, I've found that shrinks come to the table with their own ideas, both about your condition in general and your situation in particular, and then everything you say is made to fit their preconceived notions about your problem(s). That said, this is a pretty good doctor; she's been doing this for 30+ years, she doesn't try to high-dose my antipsychotic (even when I'm hearing voices), and she was open to me doing therapy to deal with the residual hallucinations. All in all, I'm pleased.
Depakote is my Kryptonite, especially combined with Abilify. When I take it alone, I throw up. With Risperdal, it set off mad anxiety and tremors. With Abilify, I had nausea early on (Abilify apparently lacks any anti-emetic action) and it "potentiated" the Abilify in such a way that I looked, sounded, and acted like some Thorazine-d 1950s State Mental Hospital patient. Dropping the Depakote made the Abilify a lot easier to tolerate, and reduced my anxiety levels.
Lithium scares me. I know, I know--small doses. The thing is, lithium is even worse for triggering EPS in combo with neuroleptics than Depakote is, so that's perfectly terrifying. Also, right now I'm doing all this w/o insurance, so although Lithium would be cheap up front, the added expense of labs and (most likely) additional shrink appointments to get the dose adjusted would really start to add up.
I guess I could order some sort of antidepressant online. I'd feel like I was misleading my shrink. Also, my mood seems to have improved a good bit since I hit 200 on the Lamictal. The problem is that the Abilify at 15 is definitely *NOT* an antidepressant at all--in fact, I suspect that despite its reputation as "clean" and "activating," standard-to-high Abilify doses may actually push my mood a bit lower over the long haul. I guess then the question would be: what neuroleptic out there do you try that won't do this? To which I would have to respond..no clue. Zyprexa caused akathisia at 2.5mgs; Seroquel made me angry and oversedated; Risperdal caused EPS and dysphoria. Geodon, honestly, kind of scares me a little bit, although many people do benefit from it. The newest neuroleptics don't interest me. The problem isn't that I'm "treatment resistant," the problem is that even today's neuroleptics seem to have a built-in anti-happiness feature that depresses the hell out of me, especially with long-term, full dose use.
OK, sorry this was so long. I appreciate your concern, I really do. I'll think about getting on magic pharma or something and ordering an AD if things get considerably worse.
Thanks again.
poster:Christ_empowered
thread:1001368
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111027/msgs/1001607.html