Posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2011, at 12:50:30
In reply to Chasing hypomania: is it realistic?, posted by hyperfocus on October 27, 2011, at 10:53:55
>So is this the med response I should be looking for - simply well regulated motivation and concentration and decrease fear and neurotic thinking?
This sounds like a good starting place on which to build a life. At least to me. It's difficult to live life in the absence of regulation and in the presence of unremitting fear.
>Is that healthy euphoria I felt and long for unrealistic? I think to myself there's no immediate reason the serotonin/dopamine peaks of hypomania should be 'normal' for me right now. Yet when I was well and healthy wasn't this how I felt all the time and took for granted till became ill?I'm not sure I have ever felt a healthy euphoria. Certainly not as a child. Even the idea of Santa coming would send me into fits of insomnia. I think because life was such misery as a child. I guess I question the word 'euphoria'. Do you place the advent of illness in childhood or teen years?
Anyways, I am looking for a peaceful neutrality. But that's me talking about my personality and what is tolerable for me.
I think we each need to ask this question for ourselves. What might be a correct state for the poster you named below might look good and may even get support in popular culture (no knocks to anyone implied) but we each have different set-points. I tried to combat my fears for many years by trying to maintain and inhabit a self that was too large, too happy and shiny. I admit I am very worn down by the years, but I do think the pleasure we (as a culture) sometimes ascribe to the childhood years is not sustainable. Nor should it be. Along with the child freshness is an innocence from a lack of experience. It was Blake who wrote that innocence comes after experience. I feel that is a state I want to strive for. But again, this is me talking about my own self. You may indeed have a large or robust personality and may be correct in seeking more for yourself. Maybe dancing on table tops and breaking plates like Zorba is really your speed. I am exaggerating here, maybe.
I once saw Iggy Pop on a small stage and almost fainted from the sheer force of his personality. If I deified his lust for life, I would always be falling (very) short.
I have been having on-going discussions with an educational therapist about brains. The way they work. It is fascinating. Anyways, in ways I do not understand, the child's brain does not work at all like the adult brain. So the freshness that is endearing in a child is not the same freshness adults can bring to a situation. As someone who missed out on much pleasure as a child, I have tendencies to mourn and try to recreate that child-experience. But really, it would only be an imitation for me. Now that I am older, I have less time to spend on imitation.
I'm not sure what I'm saying here HP. I guess we come to recovery on our own and need to find our own way. So I am just talking.
>ace (The Nardil Champion) reported that this healthy euphoria phase could be permanent. Last time I heard from him he was still going strong and apparently into full remission. But can this serotonin/dopamine enhanced state really be maintained by everyone? Is that what I should be aiming for?
I dig a pony.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:1000969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111027/msgs/1000977.html