Posted by Deneb on September 16, 2011, at 1:32:24
In reply to Re: I'm sorry everyone, posted by Dinah on September 14, 2011, at 20:46:11
> Deneb, don't you see that that's the real problem? And while you gave up on the weight loss competition, the fact is that you chose to restrict calories to an unhealthy degree in order to win a weight loss competition. People who are in good mental health and who make healthy choices don't make decisions like that. The weight loss competition and fasting itself is nowhere near as important as the fact that you made a very self destructive choice. And likely will again unless you recognize this as a problem and work to solve it. This is where therapy and some very honest self appraisal can be useful.
I was never really fasting. I just ate very little, but yeah, I think I know what you mean. It's still not too healthy. I'm making sure I take my vitamins and supplements though.
In hindsight though, my extreme fears are unfounded. I spoke with more people at the hair forum and everyone agrees that extreme dieting for a couple of weeks is not harmful. People do month long water fasts without incident. I just really freaked out. I think it's because I skipped my meds for a couple of days. I ran out.
> Maybe you did do it to try to keep your pdoc. Certainly I am the last person to judge the desire to do anything - anything at all - to keep a beloved therapist/pdoc.Well the thought did cross my mind to drop weight quickly so that pdoc would notice, but she wants me to lose some weight.
> Maybe the reason is what my therapist suggested (incorrectly) for me. A desire to create chaos in your life.
>
> Maybe it's because you equate caring with caretaking. So you feel compelled to create situations where people will worry about you, and thus show their caring in a way you can understand and accept.I don't want my friends to worry about me. It makes me feel bad. I like it more when people praise me for doing well.
>
> Maybe it's just because you reduced your risperdal dose and are acting according to obsessions and compulsions that were kept in check by the medication. Honestly, I think there was a time not that long ago when you would have made healthier choices.
>
> Whatever the reason, concentrating on the latest incarnation of the problem is unlikely to be helpful if you don't address the underlying problem.
>
> Why don't you bring it up with your pdoc, and say you think there are some deeper issues you have not yet addressed. (Yes, I'm not averse to helping you keep your pdoc/other mother.)I will bring it up next time. It's just hard because I only see her for 30 mins each month.
I'm trying to eat more now but it's actually really hard. I just have no appetite. At this point restricting food is not voluntary anymore. I literally cannot eat much. It's not worrisome yet because I'm still fat. I hope at some point I'll be able to eat a normal amount again.
I'm really sorry if I upset you in any way Dinah. I didn't mean to. I'll try to address the underlying problems.
poster:Deneb
thread:996716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110914/msgs/996898.html