Posted by floatingbridge on June 25, 2011, at 16:19:23
My husband and I were talking. He said he's been thinking alot (poor guy), and that he feels I need social support, a group. He says AA and it's satellites may
not be quite right.I said yeah. Remember when you had to 'walk me' 12 years ago? He did. He literally had to help walk me around the block. He was my coach. This is where we are again. I am dressed but lying down, waiting for the signal that the family is ready to go walking.
At that time, I was dx'd with social phobia. Wtf? Well here I am again, though now with a sleep aid (ambien worked! But super hangover.), waiting for an appt to an anxiety clinic. They deal with phobias, all kinds, plus anxiety disorders, all kinds. How convenient.
So, what's that expression, about leaving with only the clothes on one's back, or maybe naked as the day that one was born? Something like that.
I am going to have to somehow endure the discomfort that I have. I won't say yes or no to meds right now. That's besides the point.
I love people, desperately need them, but does it have to be so close up? Couldn't I love everyone, or just abide them more distantly.
Life is absolutely laced with irony. I have to face my fears. No one else can.
It's time for my walk.
* and whoever gazes at the stars will never again be quite alone...
c-ptsd & attendant health concerns
poster:floatingbridge
thread:989416
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110619/msgs/989416.html