Posted by tepi on May 11, 2011, at 2:17:33
In reply to Re: Yes , Im waiting for a MED to cure me . Thats all » tepi, posted by floatingbridge on May 8, 2011, at 16:50:31
> Tepi, I am so sorry. I agree with the comment that people suggest anything to a distressed person to try and be helpful. Expressing care is difficult. In my own life, someone who loves me very much is angry at me being ill and also having the psychological issues I do. She alternates between being alright to becoming verbally abusive. She firmly thinks if I withdraw from one particular medication (that I take a silly small amount of) I will suddenly be full of love of life and be a zippy, fun-loving person. It truly is absurd. I've been through this with her so many times, it isn't as hurtful as it used to be. But it still hurts!
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> You do need a med to help you. I understand. May I say in my experience, (many decades), that pain and fear run grooves into my brain, body, thoughts, and behavior that adds only adds to the load I already started with.
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> I am glad you get out Tepi. That's great right there. And that you can feel some happiness for other's happiness is brilliant. Do you know how wonderful that is, and how much strength you already have?
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> I don't have it near as deep as you. Yet I feel, especially in the past like a spiritual orphan. It's so lonely sometimes. I have said to myself what I think you have said, something like not having a place on this earth. It's a terrible feeling. I think I look o k. on the outside. But few know how terrible it can feel. Isn't that how it is for many people. I have spent years in a
> prison of envy, thinking 'everyone' else is 'o.k.' Well, I know most maybe are where I live--. But again, many live with pain they don't talk about. I bet very few people can 'see' how difficult some things are for you.
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> I'm still avoidant and fearful. I vacillate daily. Now here's the advice: I have to keep pushing. Just a little. And work on my behavior. I'm not even suggesting you go out and behave as if you aren't terrified. Just remember to keep going out and hold onto your desire for connection. That's healthy. Wanting to ne with people is healthy. Then, with the proper medication, (and do you ever try
> therapy of some sort), just small victories.
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> So neurontin is a bust? Did you make any decisions about lyrica?
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> Please know I write what I do to try to help, not to lecture or assume I know anything more than my own experience. I'm glad you seem to be posting more frequently.
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> fb
>Thank you for your words floating... Its hard to believe for me that there is more people out there suffering the same things than me.. My ego its alway telling Im alone in this world and leads me to believe 100% that there is no one outhere with this disease but me...
poster:tepi
thread:984745
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110502/msgs/985061.html