Posted by floatingbridge on January 7, 2011, at 16:12:42
In reply to Re: In need of kind, gentle support, posted by Cydnie on January 7, 2011, at 14:58:45
Hi Cydnie, I am glad to hear from you, even if the news continues to be trying.
Let me get this out of the way, first: That receptionist was not behaving in any decent, humane, polite, or civil way. Translated crudely as someone should give her a nice kick in the pants. (And does she want you to pay on your time to talk w/the doc? Can you reach him by phone. No way you should be liable. Grrr.)
Whether your husband is right or not about him wanting 'easy cases', this entire scenario does not reflect upon the doctor well. Do you have a counselor or therapist? Some towns and counties have mental health referral.
Yes, I often think I cannot handle one more thing and take it as a sign that I am an awful mistake. Often. And then again, I know that's the depression talking. As if the universe were that ordered, lol and no offense meant.
I wish you had a better, more responsive doctor. And to see a new (and find him or her) while severely depressed is more than daunting. However, I wonder, from what you've said, the chances might be you could do way better with your next doctor. More empathy, new eyes and intelligence, maybe even curious about you as a person.
Sometimes situations develop that are like 'perfect storms'. At least I like to think I control everything, so when the sh*t really flies from all directions, I blame myself first. I have a young child too, and that really raises the stakes.
Hang on in there Cydnie. Keep posting.
Gentle bear hugs,
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> Not sure if anyone's still reading this thread, but wanted to come back and post after reading everyone's posts and thank you all. I went into a pretty serious depression, and actually going in-patient sounded kind of good. My psychiatrist had gone away and not left someone in charge of any emergency calls. Also, I had had an appt. on the Monday when I had the scary reaction to the med, and ended up in the ER. Today I went in to see my psy doc, and his secretary was billing me $210, and I asked why and she told me because we didn't call the Friday before to cancel. I told her, the doctor knows I went to the ER though, she told me it was policy. I told her there was no way for me to know on Friday. She told me it didn't matter. I told her I thought it was harsh, that doesn't an actual emergency supersede the policy, she told me no. I thought it was cruel, she told me to take it up with him at my next appt. I told her I didn't know if I would want to come back after that, it seemed harsh, and she told me, Well, there's always that option." I was taken aback, and told her I've never been late/canceled before, never paged him, always been loyal and even referred patients to him and my husband had too (he works at a hospital). She told me, "It doesn't matter, those things don't always work out." I was dismayed, and already so incredibly depressed, and he knows of course my financial situation, and he also knew before he went on vacation that I was in crisis, but never tried to reach me. I had told him I had been suicidal, but he never once acted as though it was a concern. I have never told him that I felt that way before, and wondered why he was acting this way when we met (it seems like he would act this way if I always told him that, which I never had before, but even if I had, even if I was not easy to treat, with treatment resistant depression, I felt he should have either told me, or tried to continue being a doctor.) My husband thinks he wants easy cases, works in a wealthy town, and maybe is trying to eek me out of his practice by doing this. I've been in crisis since I tried to hurt myself on Xmas eve, and now I am without a psy doc, and don't know where to turn. I'm so lost. If I believed in anything, I would think the universe was trying to tell me, give in already, we don't want you. Does anyone else ever feel that way? I feel so desperate and alone!
MDD and C-PTSD. Chronic fatigue and pain. Good response to Cymbalta.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:975056
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101231/msgs/976108.html