Posted by Dinah on September 7, 2010, at 13:48:38
In reply to Re: disability - Proudfoot - SLS, posted by morgan miller on September 7, 2010, at 12:39:41
> The point I have been trying to make is, that if people born with a genetic predisposition to mental illness(and frankly I think some of those are simply people that are very sensitive and sensitive to their environment), are brought up in an ideal loving nurturing environment, the likeliness of them suffering from mental illness is GREATLY reduced and possible completely eliminated. Does that clear my beliefs/feelings on the subject up a bit?
I'd agree with that. Although I'd guess that an ideal loving and nurturing environment is rare. Most parents and most kids have to get by with good enough. Especially since, if genetics does play a large role, parents might be struggling with the same genetic tendencies.
Pressure on parents is huge. How can parents be ideal unless they themselves are perfectly well adjusted? How many perfect parents can there be out there? When my son was born, I resolved to try my hardest to be what he needed but I also resigned myself to the likelihood that in thirty years he might well be talking to a shrink about all the ways I messed up.
I was likely born with an oversensitive nervous system, making me prone to easy arousal and slow return to baseline. My parents chaotic environment, perhaps influenced by their own easy arousal and slow return to baseline, didn't help. But I see many of the same traits in my son. My home now is nothing at all like the one I grew up in. Not at all chaotic. I see some differences in him that result from the different environment. I see more ability in him to cope with a highly sensitive nervous system, and perhaps even to see the value in it. He's more resilient than I was. Certainly my husband and I have likely done things to exacerbate traits he already had, as well as things that might mitigate them.
I have to say that the idea that even slight misattunements or a coolish mother can cause mentally illness in children rather makes me wonder why anyone, aside from the enormously confident, chooses to have children at all...
I think I need to believe in the good enough mother.
poster:Dinah
thread:960391
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100829/msgs/961584.html