Posted by theconfusedone on May 30, 2010, at 1:01:55
I have a question, I am going to see my pysch on Tuesday as an emergency, I normally see him every month along with an addiction counsellor every two weeks in the same department on other days which I opted for myself as the so called psychotherapist who only turned out to be a social worker and caused me great stress in my first session so I ended up reporting him .
They work as a team, this has been going on for the last year, I have told them both that I have abused my meds in the past and that I have also had an alcohol problem of which I was clean and sober for 5 years.
I did state at one session last year with doc that I didn't want any benzos because it was likely I could abuse them but now my life is so bad I need them.
This is where my problem lies as they don't seem to want to medicate me properly for my severe anxiety and seem to just say it's my addiction.
I have done anti anxiety classes for weeks, been to NA and AA for years, working 12 step programs, you name it I've tried it but all to no avail.
I've told the psych before about my suicidal tendency's.
I started self medicating with codeine "Neurofen plus tabs" to relieve the anxiety and ended up withdrawing in the psych unit for three days but I seriously think my anxiety was not codeine related as It was as bad before I took them as It is 8months clean, it just builds and builds and I'm frightened that I will drink again or do something stupid.
I'm so confused, even when I was actively drinking or using I have never felt so bad with anxiety and depression.
They have me on Lexapro 30mgs and zimovane 7.5mgs a day and as you can see from earlier posts my anxiety has levelled off after I stopped using zopiclone and started on Dalmapam 30mg which i got from a friend but I still may need something to get me to sleep at night.
The doc did try me on Valdoxan which escalated my depression although it did help me to sleep a little better but it proved to be a no go as it done nothing for my anxiety.
Is it possible that they will ever give me something like Dalmane which seems to work for me. I feel that by me telling them the truth about my addictions has caused them to let me suffer on.
Are psychs not allowed to medicate you properly if you have told them in the past about your addictions?
I've tried several other ssri's but they have always had a worse affect on me.
I am really worn out from the constant anxiety and losing so much weight that my clothe don't fit me any more and worse still been brushed off as an addict looking for a fix each time I visit them.
I just fall to pieces each time I see him and can't seem to tell how severe this anxiety is and that it will be the cause of me ending it all as I can't face a future with this.
Even a phone call sends shivers up my spine, somebody calling to the door, driving. etc
I wonder which is worse being hooked on tranquillisers or suicide.
Sorry for being so morbid but I really don't know who else to turn to for advice.
Thank you,
theconfusedone
poster:theconfusedone
thread:949472
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100524/msgs/949472.html