Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on March 26, 2009, at 22:58:05
Past few weeks, well 1(1/2) weeks, I wake up, and i'm still, not awake. For at least 4-5hours. Then, i come to full function, which in the past I woke up with in 30min (5-8hours) of adequeate sleep.
Reasons: maybe
1)Reoccuring indepth depression
2)Going to bed at certain time, the mind has a eternal when it "wakes" it self. Yet i do, wake up, but mental function is as i'm sort of..in a daze.
3)Current Home Situation - it's not i would say abuse, but you know, it suprisises that my parents talk "deceitful" mumblings, then when i come in the room there quiet, or make a direct insult. In the past, they stoped because they had spoke lies, gossip, i would confrount them, and it usally ended up in fierce pyschical attacks. I'm not stating what, but intense threats to "antagonze" as almost a game, of control, manipulation, locking me my room, or throwing me out of the house, yet my mom "controlled" every aspect of life, till now. She act's does not know who I am. Caused drenlaine, mainly to released because i (lived) in "hostile" enviorment. Currently right now, i hear them chatting as the usual decietful fiends as usual, there in the living room. It's my stepdad, and then my mom agree's. Lied to the insurance companies. Don't who, but a lie that far, and cruel, that has to be reported. There is alot that, has been hidden, yet she "accuses" me, when i'm aware of something, so she's "blameless"First, i'm going to make a statement, that was never said. There are loans, my mother forced my grandmother to sign power of attorney over her, while she "mentally was gone" "Alighmers(misspelled) which that is why she got her money from her retirement. That is said, and done. I do not know other's she keep's my social security card, i found it because i was going trying look my bank card, she hid also.
This "Evil" "Dirty" feeling, just in general from the house itself. You know, belief in goodness, but in distress i called a prayer line, and left a message all about what was happening. I got a call back, message back (i lose my phone all the time). She stated, "there is an evil spirit that taken hold, spirtual attack manifesting itself" You know, reading the KJV of the bible. I tried to call her back, but, that's all she's telling me. I don't know what number i called "Prespiterian in Dallas prayer" i'll have to retrive this number.
Well, that's nothing new...i walk into this house, and think it's cold, the room Linda Blair was in (don't take this to an offence, this is the only example i can give)
You know, Satan [darkforce], is a dark, wicked, force, and yes he does have power when we lose our faith. I've seen just the "enviorment" feel dead. Cause terror, unless you have firm faith "get out". Yes, he will he give pleasure, thank you, pat you on the back, but you are given over to his law, and judgement. Seriously, 666 St. you can spell it.
_______________________________________Anyways, but besides that. What psychical causes are just not causing, full function when i get up, I take Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine) and that has no effect almost at all...one thing, If you take Seroquel at night it stays in the system, and still leave's residual effects. I cannot stand it, causes a "thorized, stoned, stare" feeling.
Prozac does work, Lamicital i've been on for about 3 weeks, and on 50mg. I've never had siezures, nor do i think, i do. But, this "aura" feeling comes, i cannot move..it's as if all the nueron's are on, so active, they don't allow peace. Xanax works, and thank god...because this is the main time to have it, frequent panic feeling (i dont show people when, an panic is bursting, i just sit there) It's usally triggered from a thought that comes up over and over, and the adrenaline glan's think danger is around. There is danger around, the trash can hit's the cieling, slam things "that's slam that door! keep slammin it, brat!" "Well, danm the trash can hit the fan, keep slammin ya brat!" That's why my mother slammed the door, part of a finger was chopped off in the frount door (stepdad). Not mine, but this has to come out.Suggestions?
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:887177
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090322/msgs/887177.html