Posted by JadeKelly on February 11, 2009, at 1:39:48
In reply to Re: Marplan - Maybe to scared to go back! » Cseagraves, posted by bleauberry on February 10, 2009, at 17:45:56
Hi Courtney,
Geez, you are having a hard time. It seems like the research end of this could be detrimental to you in and of itself. But I know you can't be comfortable without knowing as much as possible. And If you can do that, with out making yourself worse thats great!!! I'm concerned that all this conflicting information coming at you at once is becoming extremely stressful for you.
Can you just "be" for a little bit? Play with the kids, go to the park on a nice day. Spoil yourself. Relax? I think your anxiety level is so high right now trying to figure out this med stuff it is making yourself worse. If you can't leave the house, get delivery carry out, watch movies, whatever you have to do to get a few days peace at least.
When Bleauberry wrote this:"I don't agree with the neurotransmitter theory. I instead believe it has to do with the BALANCE of neurotransmitters. One or the other or several are out of balance, for that particular person depending on their genetics, environmental insults, or organic disease. Nobody knows what the correct balance for you or me is, so it is trial and error to find it. So when someone throws an ssri at me, I just have to laugh and say, how do you know my serotonin is low, and how do you know it isn't something else out of balance?"
A few years ago I was a "normal" happy person.I was a good mom, I made a substantial amount of $ running my own business, looking forward to a very early retirement. I was/am very close to my (large) family. Then in a record amount of time I, personally, and my family as a whole was bombarded by a number of "environmental insults" I can only imagine reading about. I cannot imagine what those losses did to me physically and mentally over the long run. I know what they did to me in the short run.
Courtney, there is not a person alive that could convince me that herbs, good diet, excersize, vitamins, sound diet, etc would have *touched* the kind of depression I felt. I needed strong meds, and I needed em yesterday. I went thru every kind of side effect imaginable with Parnate.But I was being "taken care of" by a PDoc who didn't care that I was slowly going in to shock. My mother had to go to my last appt with him to find out why I was so sick.
Unless I was in danger I couldn't have given a rat's a*s what side effects I had to endure. They couldn't be any worse than the hell I was in. I knew I was going on the most powerful a/d I could find and I was skipping the others. I wasn't in the mood for trials. My PDoc (new) now says I would have ended up on an MAOI anyway.
My point, I geuss, is that I think deep down you don't believe meds are okay for you to take. So don't! You'll take em if you are ready. I have no regrets, I don't read studies anymore. I have my life back.
One last thought, NO medication could do the damage that Major Depression Disorder was doing to me in every way imaginable. Maybe it is that we have to choose between the lesser of two evils. For me, that choice was easy. I hope you find peace.
(Hope its ok I reprinted that Bleauberry.)
~Jade
poster:JadeKelly
thread:879090
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090203/msgs/879381.html