Posted by Fivefires on October 3, 2008, at 18:08:52
In reply to Re: Biggest Challenge Ever Faced » Phillipa, posted by yxibow on September 25, 2008, at 3:18:43
Hey you all.
I'm worsening. I just locked my doors and put heavy things in front of my bedr door. I'm not suicidal. I just don't want to see ANYONE! I've once again, of many times, seemed to have taken the blame for what someone else has done in my life. And of course because I allow them in my life, IT IS MY FAULT. I can't breathe like my anxiety is way out of control. I just took something and will lie down. I need to read off this info when I can be calm. I'm scared. I'm scared because 'no one in my family has time to care or $ to help me' and what then shall they do if I let them in my room? Judge me? I haven't been psychotic or had the hyperventilating and the pressure in the top of my head as of yet, as have necessary Xanax treatment. Not sure this Eff-XR is doing me any good. But, what I'm writing for is because this is the ultimate agoraphobia, ... making sure no one comes into my room??!! Idk what to do. Every psych person I talk with will not discuss any medical thing I may having going on here. I asked about seizures and withdrawal and a nurse said I can't talk about medical things here. This is just mental illness. I thot 'WTH'!!!! I'm angry, edgy, just want the world to leave me if they haven't time, if they haven't money - well to me it sounds they haven't love! So they can leave me the freakin he*l alone! So much selfishness; feel buzzards are circling. UNcle finished my sentence as I said it feels like they want me to ... 'DIE?', and the thot of this just makes me so ill. Must lie down.
takecareuall, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:853359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080926/msgs/855595.html