Posted by Tony P on September 30, 2008, at 13:52:23
In reply to :(, posted by sam K on September 29, 2008, at 11:53:37
Yes, I care, Sam; I can identify with you. I'm going through much the same kind of mood swings and "damned if I do, damned if don't" dilemmas as you.
I realized the next day that it was really ironical my posting all that "good advice" to you under the original heading "mania" -- because I was in the middle of a mild manic episode myself, also triggered by modafinil, one of the symptoms being thinking that I know everything and am here to set everybody else right!! So I hope I didn't come across as "know-it-all", as I thought I might have afterward.
I haven't posted until now because I crashed Monday -- slept all day, despite taking some modafinil, and missed an evening rehearsal. Then stayed up too late, trying to write a piece of music that wasn't working. Consequently, even though I slept in a bit this AM, I still feel like crap, tired, depressed, and ready to call myself names and beat myself up with a big stick!
But I read a good little nugget of wisdom in my daily meditation book, which helps with that tendency to be hard on myself: We're human, so we will make mistakes and fall short of the goals we set for ourselves.... (here's the part I like) The mistakes we make are the signposts along the way we're supposed to follow. As a Taoist, that appeals to me.
I've been called in at the last minute to cover for someone this afternoon at my volunteer job, and I know I'll feel better after that. We'll chat some more.
Best,
Tony
poster:Tony P
thread:854050
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080926/msgs/854952.html