Posted by streetsk8er794 on September 16, 2008, at 14:15:14
In reply to Re: PLEASE HELP ME!!! (I'm Desperate), posted by Polarbear206 on September 16, 2008, at 13:14:49
Let me give you some more insight so you can help me more. When I was off my stims last month (took a break to reduce tolerance), I was a mess. All I wanted to do was stay home and play video games. At work, I had ZERO motivation, and was too nervous to approach customers. However, I had bouts of rage at times. I sell shoes, so there is the floor, and the stock room. I would break every hanger I could find, punch boxes, spit on things, and freak. I would also flex my tricep, and jab a tack in it for no reason other than rage. I didn't even feel the pain. It wasn't an action that people quite associate with a "cutter", because I don't sit around and wallow in self-pity and cut myself. I used to do the same thing when I used to work out and I was huge. I would look at myself in the mirror, flex, and stick needles in my arms just for the hell of it. I have no clue why. The stims seem to not make me want to do these things though. I can control myself, and dont go into bout of rage (which is common in OCD and ADHD).
But, even on stims, I am constantly irritated by my family, and can hardly stand to be around them. I am also plagued by CONSTANT, CONSTANT anxiety. For instance: I have an appointment for an evaluation in an hour for some DUI school. I'm having bad anxiety that it wont go PERFECT, even though I dont care AT ALL what this guy thinks of me. This I cannot attribute to social anxiety. I have a severe, SEVERE case of perfectionism, which has, over time, led to procrastination in almost every area of my life. I wont get started on something, because I'm afraid it wont be perfect.
Lemme know what you think, and thanks for the support guys.
poster:streetsk8er794
thread:852205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080915/msgs/852304.html