Posted by okydoky on May 16, 2008, at 20:43:15
In reply to Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Pluto on May 16, 2008, at 10:07:50
I think you have a lot of courage to post this. I feel like this most of the time but never have the nerve to "reach out." I read some of the responses.
I've had several attempts and two close ones. I walked a bridge for several hours in contemplation. Had huge blisters. Even in my darkest moments I kept thinking what if I change my mind in mid air?
I know it is cliché to say you don't know what tomorrow will hold, but how much "bad" time would you be willing to live with in the hopes of even a short span of wanting to live! Maybe while youre looking or working toward those times that might be good or just okay you can just let life pass by until things improve. Most days that is what I strive to do. Kind of put life off until I am able to actually live it. If I actually look at myself and how I feel and the hopelesness of it all all I want to do is die by any meens. Can you remember a time when you did want to live? Perhaps never contemplated it either way? Would you be willing to put in some hard time to see if you can get back to that? You have nothing to loose. Either you'll get there first or you'll die first. Why not take the chance that you'll get to a place that you want to live before you actually do die. Life is not very long. You are not going to suffer much longer than you have already lived. Imagine if you could look back afer you purposfully die and know then what might have been if you had only heald out!
I think I think a bit like this because many times I am so depressed I would tell my father "I am dieing" Really meening I have no life left. But his answer one time had some meening, he said "so am I, we all are."
I wish I had a real answer for you. I thank you so much for posting this and everyone else for their responses.