Posted by bleauberry on May 16, 2008, at 20:22:02
In reply to One more question if you can help, posted by Pluto on May 16, 2008, at 17:10:23
If you are so inclined to ignore my suggestions in the previous post, then realize that what I am about to say is not for your benefit, but for the benefit of other people that have loved you and lived with you. If you ignore the suggestions, then there is nothing else I can do, and then I resign to focusing on the care of everyone else in your life instead of you. This is for them, not for you.
I in no way do I support it. [xxx]
Hey, a drug overdose, or a bullet in the head, or a noose from the rafter...these are lame man. Really lame. Old news. [xxx]
I suspect your mind is so numbed by medication that the resulting anhedonia/avolition/apathy are massively dominating. When you obsess death or think of an affair, it is your survival mode straining for some way to create excitement. Your brain is trying as hard as it knows to bust out of that numbness. It is no match for the longterm power of the drugs though. Give it some help, change those meds in the ways I suggested, or something along those lines.
Absolutely stop thinking about death and suicide. Don't do it. [xxx] Best bet is to harness all the power and creativity of that obsessive tendency, and use it to strategize the steps in changing those meds.
Prozac = bye bye
Amisulpride = bye bye
Zyprexa = hello
Xanax = staying around a while
Klonopin = call me if you need me
Lyrica = bye bye
Carefully and controlled...that's where you obsessive gift comes in. Obsess on that instead of death.