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Re: Lost years - Amandafran

Posted by Brody on August 31, 2007, at 12:08:52

In reply to Re: Lost years » linkadge, posted by Amandafran on August 19, 2007, at 20:51:27

From your earlier post: "I was adopted and no nothing about my birth family and my mom's condition at the time I was born and that would help me out a lot if I could figure it out."

Hello Amandafran,

I am happy for you that you have found a treatment that has made you feel better, or as you put it, "normal". I am jumping in here a little late, and I haven't read the entire thread.... I wanted to zero in on that one sentence of yours.

I never wanted to admit that my adoption at birth was anything more than a miniscule factor in the self destructive behavior I imposed upon myself. I think I may have been quite wrong.

Another thread prompted me to do a google search that resulted in the discovery of this webpage:

http://www.terrylarimore.com/PrimalWound.html

It is a 19 page paper from the author of the book: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. She is the mother of an adopted daughter and she has done extensive research into the subject of the emotional issues of babies separated at birth from their mothers, after watching her daughter grow up displaying painful behavior she could not understand.

Reading the excerpt didn't "fix" me (or give me back the lost years) by any stretch, but it has allowed me to recognize and accept this as a very viable source for a lifetime of emotional/social issues which ultimately bloomed into years of major treatment resistant depression. I feel it has helped me to move foward... understand some of the torment and confusion... forgive myself for being "unloveable".

I have recently been greatly helped by a new course of meds (EMSAM, Provigil, Xanax). It has taken about 3 months to get everything "adjusted to fit". This is my first MAOI after many trials with SSRTs, NSRIs and TCAs.

I have also started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The CBT has proven helpful, but I could not have done it before getting stabilised on the meds..... I couldn't do anything but feed the horses and mow the lawn, and that was a challenge.

Anyway.... just thought I should refer a fellow adoptee to a resource that helped me immensely.

I hope you are able to find the right course for healing (forgiving yourself?) the past.

All the best, Janet


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