Posted by girlnterrupted78 on April 1, 2007, at 1:54:15
I have several emotional symptoms, but I don't know what is the diagnosis for what I have.
The symptoms are the following:
1. Inability to smile.
I usually need to force a smile when meeting someone or when making conversation because it won't come naturally, and I can't even fake one well enough because it's a big strain to do so and it's probably noticeable.
2. Unable to enjoy myself at parties and social gatherings.
I'm not necessarily anxious, so I don't think it's social anxiety. I just don't feel able to engage in conversation because I know I will be uneasy and won't be able to smile or go on with the conversation. It's a mix of lack of inner interest and feeling emotionally disabled to do so successfully. I can start talking about work-related stuff, or make comments. But when it comes to start actually befriending people, I feel very uncomfortable and like not wanting to be there at all.
3. Self-conscious when talking to someone.
I feel uncomfortable when I have to talk to someone for a long period of time on a person to person basis. Like, having to talk to a therapist for an hour it's very hard. I know what to say and how to say it, it's not anxiety, but I have a reflex problem of feeling self-conscious about my facial expressions so I start to close my eyes too much and feel very uneasy. Its weird because some days, when I sleep well, I don't get those weird reflexes, but when I don't get much sleep it feels really bad and my eyes get very sensitive and I can't keep them open for long periods of time. It's especially bad when the other person doesn't make pauses and stares at me nonstop.
4. I get very easily nauseated.
I get car sick all the time, and sometimes even looking down and up right away will make me nauseous. I like to read when I take the subway, but that sometimes also makes me sick. I try to avoid it just in case, because if I happen to get nauseous, I know it will last for more than an hour, even after I'm no longer in the motion vehicle.
5. I am too sensitive to people's ways of dealing with me.
If people are slightly nasty, I find it hard not to get overly annoyed. I ruminate over it for a long time and sometimes I will simply get back at them right away to get it off my chest. I usually can't allow people to treat me wrong, and although I know I have to stand up for myself, I also notice other people dont take things that serioulsy and move on faster, so I think I might have a problem there. I can't tell when it's too much and when it's insignificant, and very often I end up in some sort of interpersonal problem because of it.
I have more symptoms, but these are the main ones and I don't know what kind of disorder this is. Could someone help me enlighten myself and figure out what my problem is and what solutions are available?
PS. By the way, these problems have seriously impaired my life. I haven't been in any relationships in my life because of the social problem (feeling emotionally disabled to talk or smile) and I feel left out, like if I had a real physical disability. I just don't know what to call this disability.
Thanx a lot.
poster:girlnterrupted78
thread:745900
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070327/msgs/745900.html