Posted by gardenergirl on October 8, 2006, at 21:57:36
In reply to Re: Studying for sociology on Ativan, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 21:23:05
Hi Matt,
What I hear in your posts is that you live in a very difficult situation. You've got a lot of stress on your plate, and you're trying very hard to keep up.What I also hear is that it's hard for you to take control and responsibility for what happens to you. You're right, your mother is likely to blow if she knows you went to a doctor without her. You didn't cause her to blow. And her blowing doesn't mean you shouldn't go on your own. It doesn't mean that you can't go. Her blowing is HER behavior. How you deal with it is YOUR choice and behavior.
I've heard you say before that someone made you very angry, and that you yelled or wanted to do something in response. What you do with your feelings of anger is also your choice. If you participate in yelling with your mom, you share the responsibility for the fight. If you dont' engage with her, she will end up yelling at herself or the wall or whatever. You don't have to participate.
If you don't pass a class, it will not be your mother's fault. It will not "show her" anything or prove anything to her about her behavior. You would be the person responsible.
Even saying that you are going to go to a hypnotist in order to avoid "turning to" alcohol is taking the responsibility for that out of your hands and putting it in the hands of the hypnotist. It's up to you whether you drink alcohol or not--whether you drink alcohol as a way of coping or self-medicating or not. It's not anyone else's responsibility or ability to control.
I know it feels as if your mother controls a great deal of your life. And I'm sure that a home environment where there is a lot of yelling and fights and intrusions into what's your business must be awfully stressful and distracting. But your mother can't control your life if you don't let her.
I also know that it's often darned hard to feel empowered and in control of your life. I still have to work hard to recognize that I have options and control versus life and stuff happening *to* me.
Good luck, Matt. I know how hard you work to deal with all of this, and I know how much you want to be your own man and be successful. You have a lot of desire, a lot of very good qualities. You're a caring young man. I'm confident that will always be true about you and that you will keep trying and keep working to be the best Matt you can be.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:693134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061003/msgs/693180.html