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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 19:50:05
Swear if i had any kinda of stimlulant right now, i would down it. I am forgeting what i read and i am having trouble keeping up
I took Ativan (my old bottle) from like 4 months ago. took 2mg.
I actually am studying better than i would if i didnt take anything. Im less active, im calmed down, but not very focused or motivated.
I cant, well as i said im having a dilema on ADHD medication, with my mom, joining the army.....
I am smashed up.
Matt
Posted by Racer on October 8, 2006, at 20:36:41
In reply to Studying for sociology on Ativan, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 19:50:05
>
>
> I took Ativan (my old bottle) from like 4 months ago. took 2mg.
>
>Matt? This is a prescription for a medication which is not currently prescribed you? Was it prescribed that you take 2 mg? Or were you prescribed 1mg, and just figured more was more effective? Why is this an old prescription, why was it discontinued?
Do you think that this sort of behavior might be related to your mother's fear that you'll abuse stimulants if they are prescribed again? After all, you did say that you've done it in the past.
Posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 21:14:40
In reply to Re: Studying for sociology on Ativan » rjlockhart, posted by Racer on October 8, 2006, at 20:36:41
yes i was prescrbied 6mg of Lorazepam X 3 daily. I discontinued it.
This is MY prescription. Not anyone elses. It is discontinued but i used it to take some anxiety off when i was studying which i could maybe concentrate.
I am failing off stimulants, my classes are going hard, im making bad grades. Its hell. She wont ever listen to me. What i am going to do if i fail more than one class this semester, she is going to get a reality check of what she did. Working full time hours. Or joining the Miltary. If she is so stupid and rather me get on the verge of risk of life, and actually wants me to go to a recruiter, thats just tough love, and i really at this point have resented her intensly. She wont listen to anyhting I tell her about how im having problems, she just says ITS THE HARD WAY. You know this is why i have jolted off my horizens and realized what she did and is doing to me, she doenst want to on stimulants becasue SHE was addicted to them.
Yes racer, i said before i did abuse dexedrine for a while, but i am going to take responsiblity, talk to therpist, and take it like an adult. I understand why she doesnt want me on it, she thinks it will get me addicted. My therpist told her to lock it up in a safe, she said NO im NEVER going back to danm stimulants. Overreacting.
At this point i dont know what to do, im still considering the miltary...but i saw the guardian with Keven Cousnter, the real national guard.
She wont even take me in to see my doctor, i have to make appointments behind her back if she finds out..... she will go crazy.
Yes this was my prescription. I took 2mg as PRESRIBED.
And it didnt work at all.
Matt
Posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 21:23:05
In reply to Re: Studying for sociology on Ativan, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 21:14:40
Racer why do you think i am making such a big deal about this. The enviorment i live in is yelling, unstable, it just i cant take it, but i have to deal with it. And i am NOT going to turn to alcohol when im 21, that would the worst thing that could happen. I am going to go to a hypotist and say "never touch or drink alcohol"
Stimualnts, dextroamphetamine caused me to be balanced, while i was on it, but my mom refused to take me to the doctor and adjust the dose, thats why i personally would take more out.
Right now i dont care anything about a stimulant, just something that will at least just once help me focus. Strattera, Wellbutrin? anything...my mom will not even do that.
Do you see.....
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2006, at 21:30:28
In reply to Re: Studying for sociology on Ativan, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 21:23:05
Matt a good nights sleep will help your concentration too. I'm taking my own advise and going to bed earlier tonight. Now get to the doctor by yourself. Love Phillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on October 8, 2006, at 21:57:36
In reply to Re: Studying for sociology on Ativan, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 21:23:05
Hi Matt,
What I hear in your posts is that you live in a very difficult situation. You've got a lot of stress on your plate, and you're trying very hard to keep up.What I also hear is that it's hard for you to take control and responsibility for what happens to you. You're right, your mother is likely to blow if she knows you went to a doctor without her. You didn't cause her to blow. And her blowing doesn't mean you shouldn't go on your own. It doesn't mean that you can't go. Her blowing is HER behavior. How you deal with it is YOUR choice and behavior.
I've heard you say before that someone made you very angry, and that you yelled or wanted to do something in response. What you do with your feelings of anger is also your choice. If you participate in yelling with your mom, you share the responsibility for the fight. If you dont' engage with her, she will end up yelling at herself or the wall or whatever. You don't have to participate.
If you don't pass a class, it will not be your mother's fault. It will not "show her" anything or prove anything to her about her behavior. You would be the person responsible.
Even saying that you are going to go to a hypnotist in order to avoid "turning to" alcohol is taking the responsibility for that out of your hands and putting it in the hands of the hypnotist. It's up to you whether you drink alcohol or not--whether you drink alcohol as a way of coping or self-medicating or not. It's not anyone else's responsibility or ability to control.
I know it feels as if your mother controls a great deal of your life. And I'm sure that a home environment where there is a lot of yelling and fights and intrusions into what's your business must be awfully stressful and distracting. But your mother can't control your life if you don't let her.
I also know that it's often darned hard to feel empowered and in control of your life. I still have to work hard to recognize that I have options and control versus life and stuff happening *to* me.
Good luck, Matt. I know how hard you work to deal with all of this, and I know how much you want to be your own man and be successful. You have a lot of desire, a lot of very good qualities. You're a caring young man. I'm confident that will always be true about you and that you will keep trying and keep working to be the best Matt you can be.
gg
Posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 22:34:15
In reply to Re: Studying for sociology on Ativan » rjlockhart, posted by gardenergirl on October 8, 2006, at 21:57:36
GG,
I know its her problem she blows up but B*E*I*V*E me she will not stop yelling, i cant take after a certain point.
I actaully do not fight with her, i do what she says, i used to fight and there was psychical things that happened, not with her my stepdad. But its that "i do what she says" i let her control me to much becauase she treats me like its all 1993 again.
Im not going to show her anything, she will see what she did by not medicating me correctly, which I should be doing over a doctors orders. Thats with class. Im not going to even say im going to purposly fluck any classes. Its the result of it, and belive me again she wont do anything, she will "oh well you can only handle 3 hours of class now" Do you see if i stay here what will happen.
I get superstitious about saying these things. I dont want to fail, but if that comes there is going to be a get out plan. She will not at all agree, at all with stimulants, there thrown out the window. Right now if there is something just something anything, like strattera or wellbutrin to just bearly help.
I need to read over people posts again, notfred posted somehting "plan of action" that sounded like a get out.
I need help
Matt
Posted by laima on October 9, 2006, at 17:27:15
In reply to Re: read read.....please, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 22:34:15
> I need to read over people posts again, notfred posted somehting "plan of action" that sounded like a get out.
Matt,
That sounds like a good plan. He had some really great ideas, I recall, as did a number of other people. Seems like you have a lot of friends here. Maybe it would help to jot down some notes of some of the suggestions that make the most sense to you as you put together your personal plan of action? Then you can go over them and review them as you start to make changes.
Good luck,
Laima
Posted by gardenergirl on October 11, 2006, at 15:15:26
In reply to Re: read read.....please, posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 22:34:15
> Im not going to show her anything, she will see what she did by not medicating me correctly, which I should be doing over a doctors orders.
My point is that if you were to not pass a class for whatever reason, it will not be because of what "she did" (or didn't do). I don't think she would "see for herself" anything about herself. She would likely have the reaction you described later in your post.
And I have to say this again, it's your responsibility about school and about your healthcare. Not hers. Whatever happens, good or bad, will stem from choices and behaviors that *you* make.
You're faced with difficult circumstances and difficult choices. I'm sorry that you have so much to cope with. No one deserves that.
> Right now if there is something just something anything, like strattera or wellbutrin to just bearly help.
If you're not comfortable going to the doctor and managing your own healthcare decisions right now, I can understand that. You have to weigh all the factors, including the potential stress of her reacitions.
You might consider asking your therapist to help you with behavioral strategies to cope with your symptoms if medication is not an option for you right now. Also, schools often have learning assistance centers and/or offices for support for students with a disability. ADHD usually qualifies as a disability. I strongly encourage you to check out these resoucres as well. If your school does not have them, your therapist ought to be able to provide you with referral information.
>
> I need to read over people posts again, notfred posted somehting "plan of action" that sounded like a get out.Good thinking! Notfred's post contains excellent advice.
Take care,
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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