Posted by Donna Louise on June 8, 2006, at 9:08:16
In reply to Re: Strong comment, posted by Bonnie_CA on June 2, 2006, at 2:40:12
Willyee, you spoke my fears for me. For most of my life, well, until I was nearly 31, I was not a street junkie because I didn't live on the street but that was the only difference. As was said, all I knew was that I hurt and I would take anything to make it go away. I stopped that behavior 20 some years ago but about 15 years ago began this new way of drug seeking to make the pain stop. I am so afraid that it is really no different. I am still looking desperately for a drug that will make me enjoy my life (yes, I have had years of therapy...)I know I must need something, I am not put together right and as was said, I need to do it for the greater good, not just for my own selfish ends. But I am so afraid that all this legal drug seeking and using has just made me worse than ever. I was so hoping the Patch would be "it" and it better than anything else but it is not "it". Now I want to ask for bupe and am reading about it, I am back to narcotics like the old days...Anyway, I know just what you mean. I have had glimpses of what I think should be possible and it is always when i am stopping a drug, the two week period before I crash again. I guess it is some kind of rebound, but I long for it and am obsessed with obtaining it, I don't want to waste my life anymore than it has been wasted. It makes me so sad and scared. It makes me cry.
donna
poster:Donna Louise
thread:651514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060604/msgs/654406.html