Posted by Devastated Mother on February 18, 2006, at 17:23:56
In reply to Re: Suicide on Effexor » lifetime, posted by simon levane on February 18, 2006, at 16:37:57
Simon and Herb,
Simon, you are right that no one is suggesting that effexor is not a good drug for some people. I think the bottom line is this: DO NO HARM requires following the guidelines on the insert. It means that the prescribing doctor has some obligation to inform the family about the potential dangers of the drug their loved one is taking. In this case, assuming depression, it is absolutely ludicrous to expect the patient to tell others that "the drug I am on says I might become suicidal, so please watch me." OK, I can't even imagine saying that to my best friend, and I am not depressed. Except when I think about the insensitive, uncaring doctor who ignored the basic needs for care that my son had, and who might as well have held a gun to his head.
Simon, I applaud you for occasionally telling people around you that you are not going to be like them any more. I understand that very well. This has changed everyone who knew my son, for life. My remaining son, my daughter, my husband, me, and countless other relatives, including my mother who loved him dearly.
The one thing I have learned from this horrible life tragedy is that I must always ask for what I need, and there is not enough time for telling half truths. Life is too short, so I am brutally honest, even when my honesty might hurt. So, when you hurt, Simon, it does not help to try to hide it, unless that serves some purpose you might have (for example a person with whom you have a surface relationship who does not deserve this level of intimacy--interesting that I am willing to say these things here, where I know none of you really except Simon...). If people think it is time to get over it, they just don't get it. There is no getting over it. There is no healing. There may be a diminishing of the pain to a managable level. But I think of my son every moment of every day. Every day, I think of the grandchildren I will not have, of the uncle he will not be for my other children, of the cousin he was to many wonderful children who loved him dearly, and who were so hurt by his passing. I think of how excited he was to learn new things, and how creative and excited he was about life. So, no, world, we will never be what we were. So don't ask us to be. Don't be surprised when we cry for seemingly no reason at all. Our very being has been defiled, and we are in a place so agonizing you cannot imagine it.
poster:Devastated Mother
thread:601406
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060212/msgs/610956.html