Posted by shasling on September 21, 2005, at 17:42:59
In reply to Re: how to get a Dr to rx MAOIs » shasling, posted by Jedi on September 21, 2005, at 2:20:04
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> Hi Shasling,
> I'm from a small town about 150 miles from any major city.Hi Jedi (and all who wrote),
Thanks so much for sharing. What a nightmare dysthymia/atypical/treatment resistant depression can be. I've been chasing treatment for like 20 years. When a series of New Wonder SSRI's don't work, docs give up - "you might have to get used to it.." (?!!) - and so I go away, telling myself someone will help me figure it out in the future; put quality of life on the back burner and fight through the deadness I feel, one foot in front of the other over and over just to make it through the day/week/month/year.. So after 20 years and several docs I am now 45, with the realization that 1) I've run out of future to postpone acheiving successful treatment to, and 2) 45 years have been wasted suffering. And the idea that we haven't ever been willing to try - TRY - something that might work infuriates and defeats me at the same time. I'm so beat down by this that I can barely put myself through going to see a new doc, only to be blindly run through their favorite SSRI paradigm, while I pay them not to do their job and still all the while continue to suffer; yet always knowing that I have done lots of research and chances are they just might have the key in their hand but they simply won't bring it out and try use it. It makes me feel so helpless and angry at the same time.
I've been seriously out of hope; weekends lately I lay in bed with my eyes closed day and night and let the days go by until its time to go to work again, cause thats the only time I know what to do with myself. I want you all to know what your responses have meant a lot to me. Really. I feel a little less lost. You may have given me the motivation to get up and try again.Sorry I ran on like that. Upon reading, I wonder whether I ought to post this, but it somehow feels better if I do. I know we all have our own issues, but letting me just communicate my experience made me feel a little better.
Thanks again for sharing and helping.
poster:shasling
thread:557335
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050921/msgs/557755.html