Posted by Sarah28 on June 16, 2005, at 14:00:53
In reply to ADDERALL,SEROQUEL, XANAX, TEMAZEPAM, PAXIL, LEXAPR, posted by Sarah28 on June 16, 2005, at 6:52:36
Thank you so much for all of your comments, they have been very helpful. I feel like I have always know he wasn't a very good pdoc. I felt like a lab rat to him. About a month and a half ago he actually prescribed me Ritalin LA 40mg (2 a day) and wanted me to take it along with my Adderall 30mg (4 a day)! I thought it was crazy but I decided that I would just try the Ritalin and see if I liked it, but I was not about to use them together. To make it short, I had a horrible reaction after being on the Ritalin La for 2 weeks. I began to feel like I didn't really know who I was anymore, I couldn't smile or laugh because I really just felt no emotion at all. Then I satyed up two nights in a row and I wasn't doing too well. I haven't ever had problems with staying up numerous nights on Adderall. My heart was beating out of my chest, so hard that my chest was vibrating. I could do nothing but lye very still on my bed because if I moved at all, it would beat harder. I decided that I needed a xanax, because it was making me have an anxiety attack and so when I tried to get up to get them, I took two steps and collapsed. I really felt like it was about to be the end for me. Forsome reason my whole left arm went numb. I know it is supposed to hurt if you are having a heart attack,but mine went completely numb and I couldn't feel it at all. I ended up just biting the bullet and I took 200mg of Seroquel so I could just knock myyself out. At that point I was so miserable, that I didn't care if I died in my sleep. I woke up the next morning and could barely move my legs. I actually had trobule walking for the whole next day. It was WEIRD. So I just got back on Adderall. I really like the Adderall but sometimes I take more than I am supposed to because I don't really want to sleep some nights. Until it gets to be about the 4th night and then I start to feel like I have an obligation to myself. Is it harmful to stay awake for that long? No one ever answered me about my feet that have become suddenly swollen. My father has got me scared to death that it's a sign of liver failure from the Adderall. Does Adderall have any effects on the liver?
Oh, by the way, you know how I said Ihave been reading a lot lately? Well, I just read something that might make everyone on this site feel a lot better if their problems involve any type of mental confusions. I just finished a book on chaos theory, which is titled "Chaos: Making a new Science" by James Gleick. Although it isn't a new science anymore, because this book has been out since 1987, so much of what it dicusses has now been proven as fact and not theory anymore. Well, there is a part. For anyone who does not know, Chaos theory means, simply put, there is chaos all around us with the with examples such as the waves in a turbulent sea, or fluctuations in wildlife populations, and the way clouds form their different and ever-changing shapes. The whloe meaning behind all of this, is that the theory of chaos is defined as: Deep within the chaos all around us are patters, and in essence, ORDER! The quote it in the book by states it better than me by saying 'order masquerading as randomness'. As I read on, I found that they began speaking of the human mind and, that some people who have, what would be termed as mental disorders, are possibly moving into a higher level of awareness that the average human mind is not ready to expereince. The complexities of the human mind,as these systems become sufficiently complex, the deleop new forms of behavior called emergent phenomena. As this happens, they transform themselves into a new, higher level of organization, through what "normal" people see as chaotic. So, if you can imagine, those of us who are termed as 'mentally disturbed' in many ways are possibly just evolving at a fater rate than other people and are moving toward a higher spiritual evolution. These scientist have determined that this is journey through chaos, is actually allowing us to experience a higher level of wisdom, awareness, and eventually lead us to attaining true peace, joy and harmony in our lives and the world around us. This can only happen if we stop seeing our minds as "problematic", and realize that we are just evolving at a higher rate than most other people. We are more enlightened. What do you think about that? I would say that I am just crazy, but I read it for my own eyes and something tells me that it might be absolute truth.
Sarah
poster:Sarah28
thread:513584
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050611/msgs/513776.html