Posted by portage on June 7, 2005, at 18:26:28
I don't know if these are panic attacks--I don't know if it's dissociation...I've head the term "cognitive slippage", and that seems like the best way to describe it. It doesn't start with a conscious thought...and there are no external cues I'm aware of that precipitate it. It starts with a vague feeling of a slowing of time. I'm not scared at this point, I just feel...dreamy. Things seem to move in slow motion. Within moments my throte tightens and my arms tingle. I just feel strange. Within about another minute, I become terribly confused- my thoughts, my senses seem all out of sync. For example, this happened this afternoon, I was driving, and when I started to feel confused I pulled over. I stuck three xanax under my tongue. I watched the cars passing me, but did hear the "vroooom" they made as they passed until they were nearly out of sight. Does this make sense? it was soo surreal. My leg muscles were twitching, and all my limbs felt numb and tingly. I had a weird rash across my chest and neck, I felt nauseous. I couldn't stop holding my breath- it was awful just trying to take a breath, it was like i had to concentrate soo intensely just to do that. I had to concentrate SO INTENSELY just to will my hand to move to turn off my engine, my body felt like it wasnt mine, I knew how absurd that was but it felt so real. I curled up in my seat and closed my eyes, but that was worse, because then I got paranoid, thinking, this is what psychosis feels like. I felt so DUMB, i couldnt put together a sring of thoughts, and all my senses were meshed- I'd move my hand and see it move, but didn't FEEL it move for a few seconds later, after it was resting on my leg again. I sat paralized with fear for i dont know how long, and then, still not any less confused, drove home at 10 miles per hour, i ran into my house and curled up on the floor beside my front door.
this has happened before, once when i smoked pot, once after i missed two nights of sleep, and maybe 5 other times with no trigger at all. Is this a panic attack!? My doctor says probably, hence the xanax, but the xanax doesnt help! it helps with general anxiety, which i have occassionally, usually in social situations. But these suppossed panic attacks never happen when I feel even mildly anxious, always completely out of the blue, and I dont panick untill after my thoughts slow and my body numbs...
BUT, i think i'm really skilled at suppressing dread, to the point of where im not even conscious of it, and perhaps thats why it seems to start with my body?
Are these symptoms i described common in panick attacks? they last much longer than normal panic attacks- usually an hour or longer.
im unnerved, afraid itll happen again
poster:portage
thread:509283
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050606/msgs/509283.html