Posted by 4WD on May 20, 2005, at 14:54:49
In reply to Re: Mr Scott » Nickengland, posted by Mr.Scott on May 20, 2005, at 11:52:48
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> My point is that I feel frustrated that we often get drug dependent without full remission and other side effects, and that we spend so much time obsessing about "not being well". At least I do! I'm working with my psychologist to set limits on how much time I spend researching and thinking about my mental health because it is over the top. I'm using an egg timerwhen online, and also trying to delay action when I have an urge to go online or pop into the bookstore. I'm overly narcisistic and self absorbed because I'm in discomfort, but it could be so much worse.
Exactly on the mark. I wish I could quit focusing so much on "what is wrong with me?" and quit trying so hard to figure it out for myself. I guess I just feel the minute I leave my pdoc's office, I'm out of his thoughts until my next visit. I mean, he doesn't sit there and ponder what might be the problem, what might work best for me; he doesn't think about "x drug worked for this aspect and y drug worked for that aspect, thus she has a problem with z autoreceptor." So I feel like I'm the only one willing to put that much effort into trying to get well. To them, the docs, we're just one patient in a long line. If they gave half an hour's thought per week to each of us, they wouldn't have time to see patients at all.
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> Also my psychiatrist is one of the most well respected physicians in the field in a very large city, and my attempts to micromanage or try to find what he's missing really hasn't helped me any.Me either. But I don't think he's giving any thought to what he might be missing, so who's gonna do it? At least my inquiries got me to an endocrinologist, so maybe I'm a step closer to an answer. Even if there's not a solution, at least an understanding would make it a little more bearable.
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> If I could just take the damn pills (so long as they don't cause obnoxious side effects)...get whatever help I can get there without unrealistic expectations, and let him do his job while I focus on what I do have control over I'd be much better for it.
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We all would. That's the thing, though, about depression and anxiety. That's a symptom of the disease. Obsession. Worry. Trying to control. And most of us are desperate or we wouldn't be here. I spend some time here just to keep from thinking about how scared I am. I can see, though, that that might be counterproductive. It keeps me in the cycle. But everything keeps me in the cycle. I go for a walk to be less scared. When I get back, I check to see if I'm less scared. See? And I just can't seem to help it.
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> And finally I realize everyone here has some level of discomfort or they would be here. I'll try to behave in the future, and remember how good things really are instead of how good they aren't...but I guess I just blew my stack.It was probably good for you. Since you're trying to stop second guessing your doc, you probably have some steam built up that you'd really like to direct at him. (You wouldn't be second guessing him if you weren't feeling like he wasn't doing the best he could for you.)= frustration and anger.
Marsha
poster:4WD
thread:499333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050516/msgs/500408.html