Posted by SLS on March 24, 2005, at 8:36:17
In reply to I'm here, posted by Maxime on March 23, 2005, at 22:45:45
Hi Maxime
> So I am in a cage and there is a big lock on it and I don't know how to get the key.
:-(
I wish I knew the emoticon for someone shedding a tear. That would be me right now. Your description is exactly how I feel sometimes. Some others things that I feel includes feeling trapped inside my body. Or being chained to the bottom of a mirky ocean while watching the rest of the world up above me, on land, and dancing and laughing and enjoying the free air to breath.
I have been severely depressed for the last 25 years. I was diagnosed 22 years ago. I experienced only one period of remission. It lasted only 9 months. I have tried 63 different medications, including investigationals, in a multitude of combinations. I spend most of my time sitting or lying on the couch and participating on Psycho-Babble. I can only read between 2-4 sentences at a time. I mostly just skim. It is unusual for me to read 10 posts and respond to 5 during the day. I don't maintain relationships and never have the energy or motivation to pick up the phone. I have gone years without being in contact with my brother, who only lives 1 hour a way. I can't remember a damned thing. Learning new words or factual details is a difficult chore. I have no libido. I usually eat cereal or a bagel. Anything that takes more than 5 minutes to prepare seems like too much effort. I can't add single-digit numbers in my head. Thank God for ten fingers and the use of base 10 as our number system. I ussed to go to the gym four days a week when I was bodybuilding. I have seen all of my hard work atrophy to almost nothing and with a new coating of over 30 pounds of excess fat. I guess that's enough for now.
My most immediate recommendation for the both of us is that we minimize the any anxiety that might be present. It really doesn't matter how you go about it. Anxiety is often the single most associated feature of depression that leads to suicide. Anxiety makes the experience of life much more painful.
This is your homework:
Research and make a list of strategies to minimize your anxiety. Also make a list of the drugs you have already tried and comment on each one as to whether it was a success or a failure, and why it was discontinued. If you need help, just ask for some in this thread or create a new thread devoted to anxiety.
If anxiety is not a problem for you, then never mind. :-)
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:474819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050322/msgs/474888.html