Posted by tensor on January 23, 2005, at 7:12:32
Hi,
I'm not sure if this is due to lithium or if it's due to the depression. And i don't remember when it started, but i've recently become more and more aware of it. I often catch my self thinking violent thoughts, i unconsciously building up scenarios in my head where i'm acting in self defense and hurting, disarm and fighting other people(the 'bad guys'). Is this due to loss of self-confidence or is it medical? Do you recognize this?
I surely not dare to drink alcohol now, last time i did, a week ago, i was banned from two local pubs. And i didn't even get through the door, i threatened the guards that i would beat them. I have no memory of this, a friends girlfriend told me. And i have never beaten another person in my entire life, never been charged or convicted for assault. It's like i'm living out my thoughts while drunk.
This scares me, i'm pretty large(188cm, 100kg), so i could potentially harm someone. Is it the lithium or what?
Thought, ideas and experiences greatly appreciated./Mattias
poster:tensor
thread:446110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050119/msgs/446110.html