Posted by jujube on December 13, 2004, at 20:19:13
In reply to the feeling of nonexistance, posted by linkadge on December 13, 2004, at 19:27:51
I think I know what you mean, and I have been there myself in the recent past. It is a weird, unnerving sensation to say the least. I think you have articulated it quite well. If I had to describe the feeling I have had, I would be inclined to say that it is like a wave of fatigue that comes with an overwhelming awareness that I don't know what my purpose in life is, or even what the meaning of life is and why we are all here. It's like everything has gone totally quiet, and I am so aware of myself and the world around me, but unable to figure out what it's all about. And, sometimes I think it happens when I am, or have been, living inside my head - thinking too much, analyzing too much, hypothecizing too much, etc. There are no feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety or euphoria, but there is this feeling of perhaps aloneness and a sense that I am really not the master of my own universe, no matter how hare and how fast I try to spin my wheels. And, at times like that, I think about what it must have been years and years and years ago in a time when there was a true sense of community and belonging. In a time when people were not too busy to care about their neighbors. I am certainly not a pessimistic person by nature, but I sometimes sense an emptiness in people, including myself, that I don't think probably existed in an age where people were more willing to reach out and lend a hand instead of constantly chasing elusive dreams. I am going to stop now because I am becoming a bit of a downer, and am probably not making much sense. Sorry about that.
Tamara
> Does anyone get that feeling that they don't exist. I feel as if I am a marionett and that these meds are just pulling strings and moving me around. I have no sence of self. It's the worst feeling ever. It is so scarry too. It's kind of like every day somebody dims the light a little more, Its done so subtley that you don't notice it. But you wake up one day and you're gone.
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> For me, it's not about being sad, or anxious, or angry, or irritable, it's about my lifeforce slowly slipping away from me.
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> Please say you know what I mean.
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poster:jujube
thread:429069
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041211/msgs/429107.html