Posted by iris2 on October 20, 2004, at 12:37:48
In reply to Re: I can't hold on....yes u can!!, posted by jerrympls on October 17, 2004, at 19:42:12
Jerry,
I have been as you feel now many times. I have been rushed to hospitals several times. Last time they had to put me on a respirator.
You are not alone.
One very important way I now get through some of my worst times is to take (as someone else her suggested) a small amount of an anti-psychotic or major tranquilizer. I take Perphenazine about 2-4mg. It works best for me. Some people are using Zyprexia. What ever works best for you. I cannot tell you how much this can help you through these impossible times. These meds numb you a little. Those terrible negative feelings and the hurt deep inside can be lessened dramatically by these medicines. I STRONGLY suggest getting your doctor to write a script for one of these and to take it. See if you do not feel better. It will not change your life but the intensity of what you are going through will be lessened.
I would not take a large amount of one of these meds. You will probably have side effects on larger amounts like akethesia that you do not want. If you have this on a small amount it is easily resolved by an Antidyskinetic like Cogentin which I took for several years or various other medications one being a beta- blocker like propanolol. At small doses of major tranquilizers most do not have this problem anyway but I wanted to put your mind at rest if you do it is easily resolved.
My parents used to not get involved much unless I was hospitalized. So subconsciously I think I got worse and suicidal in order to get the attention and help I needed. Only when in crisis did they respond to my needs. One cannot keep looking for needed help from people, family or not, that are not able to provide for your needs. Please realize that they most likely do care but do not know and/or are not able to meet your needs. Do not keep banging your head trying to get needs met where they will not be. It only makes you feel more helpless. It sounds like your therapist is helpful. We on this board are willing and able to try and meet some of your needs. Do you have any friends right now that could be helpful? Other family members? This is not a time to feel self conscious about your needs!YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND IT DOES GET BETTER.
We have so little time on this earth one has to think when you are able that one might as well stay around and see if you can eek out some good from it. You will. For me it is like game of strategy. To try and make more of my life worth living as opposed to the rest I would prefer not to live. I understand the suffering seems endless and intolerable but it is not. Believe all of us.
The small amount of joy or happiness far out ways the lengthy time in pain and despair.
I cannot tell you how much taking this major tranquilizer has gotten me through some of the worst times. It can just numb you a little so you do not have such intensity of feeling.Hope this helps. Keep us posted.
irene
poster:iris2
thread:404047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041018/msgs/405138.html