Posted by katia on October 2, 2004, at 0:38:39
In reply to Hi Katy and Katia » katia, posted by Barbaracat on October 1, 2004, at 20:29:37
Yes, these ups and downs. And even tho' we have experience with them; each one feels like truth, the end of the world, nothing will change from this state of mind and I'm stuck forever! And then it changes. The waves of moods. I'm learning to ride.
> Hi Katy, Hi Katia!
> These up and downs. I like the ups better. Who doesn't? Things can feel so icky at times, this crummy feeling that makes everything seem so hard. I don't want to take any more meds. I'm on SJW, lithium, and thyroid mainly for the mood stuff and I guess I'm willing to put up with the nasty stuff because it eventually goes away.
I just took my Trileptal and Seroquel. I get a funny feeling in my lungs after taking Tri/sero. mix. like a relaxation mellowing. It's great.
Katia, you mention looking for land in Asheville, NC? That's a lovely area. I grew up on the East Coast and spent some time in the Carolina's.
**I did too! I grew up in Va. and lived a lot in NC as well. Moved out here in 95.
If I ever move again, it will be to another country, especially considering the next 4 years. I've been devoting all my free time working real hard on the election campaign. Guess we can't get into politics here, but I think you can imagine who I'm stumping for. Hint: not a four letter word.
** you and about 45% of americans (pending on the election results) want to move abroad. I chalk it up to a divide in consciousness. And I'm doing my part in supporting the non-four letter word candidate, but there's such a divide; it's not a matter of "convincing" someone. Convincing the four letter word supporters is like teaching physics to a child. You just can't break thru' the barrier that is called lack of consciousness sometimes. I think it's beyond logic. There is a real battle with old energy fighting to stay alive and new energy emerging. You know what I mean? Something major is going on beyond politics. And I think it can carry over to the world scene too. another debate on another board.
Back to meds..how is SJW working for you? Isn't that like a SSRI? I'm on a SSRI now - Paxil and for some reason (possibly Tri and Ser.) I"ve not gone too crazy. I went crazier on Effexor and WB. Odd eh? Most BPs do the opposite.
> I look at my little box and my picture of Merlin and feel like I went through a dimension into another reality and back again. I miss him very much, but time takes away the sharp pain and replaces it with a sweetness. Loss of a loved one is terrible, but what is there to do? It just is. You begin to think differently about it with each occurrence. I'm still reeling from my Mom's death nearly two years ago but I don't feel crazy around it any longer. The fear of the pain of loss has been the biggest issue in my life. Knowing this has been a great help.
**I still light candles EVERY DAY for that little Bull boy of mine. Big stuff is happening with my inspiration and Rock's story coming out on paper.
Good to hear from you. Are you still coming out for Thanksgiving?