Posted by SLS on September 3, 2004, at 7:31:51
In reply to Thanks all - I'm done., posted by jerrympls on September 2, 2004, at 20:58:46
> Thank you all for your years of support and advice. I'm giving myself one week to try and reconcile things and if that fails, I'm bailing.
Dear Jerry,I respect your feelings and your right to make such a decision. I hope you respect my feelings and experience when I tell you that I doubt it is time for you to give up just yet. I have been in your position before. I reached a point in 2000 when I informed my family that I was beginning to put my affairs in order, and that I wanted to hide what little money I had to be able to bequeath to my niece and nephews. I was going to have the state pay for my funeral. I have reached several critical points since.
People are going to ask you for your CV list of drugs tried, etc. That might be too much work for you right now, I don't know. All I can tell you is that the permutations of drug combinations is virtually endless, and it has been demonstrated that combinations do work. You know that.
In addition, for every new antidepressant drug that becomes available, a certain percentage of previously treatment-refractory people will respond to it. Try Cymbalta.
In the meantime, what are you experiencing? Perhaps there are things you can do to reduce depression and anxiety acutely to help get you through this crisis. Anxiety is perhaps most important to address if it exists. I have found Zyprexa and benzodiazepines to be important tools in an emergency.
I am sure there is a great deal of rationality to your ponderings of suicide. However, there might also be a great deal of suicidal feelings that are being produced by the illness itself. There is a neurobiological substrate to suicidality. It sometimes involves anxiety, anger, agitation, and aggression. Depression and anxiety are liars. You know that. Suicide is permanent and irreversible. You can alway wait on the decision. I am sure there is a great deal of rationality to your ponderings of continuing life also. There is yet hope for you lying in the things you have not tried yet, and that have been proven to work for others. As it has been with me, I hope you find this Hope pursuasive enough to commit to living for awhile longer. The odds are in your favor that it will be worth your while.
Sigh.
I know.
It has been so much work. So much pushing. So much pain. So much.
Stop.
Catch your breath and relax.
Keep reaching out the way you have done here. Don't isolate.
Speak to a professional counselor if you think one would help. However, unless you find one that understands completely the biological nature of your condition and your immediate needs for survival, it might be counterproductive, so you must interview them first. Otherwise, continue to seek counsel here. In my experience, I have found that what people offer here is appropriate and helpful, and often more on target for your situation than what you might find elsewhere.
Ask questions. Do you have any you want to ask right now?
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:385815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040830/msgs/385934.html