Posted by ctor on November 25, 2003, at 19:10:48
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by ELENI4 on June 23, 2003, at 15:42:48
> I have the same thing, and like you no one truly understands what I'm talking about when I try to explain it further. They either ask, "You hear voices?" or say, "so you mind is racing?" My answer is always, "No, I do not hear voices, though I do tend to hear music, often with lyrics. My mind does race, but it's not just that. It's almost like an inner dialogue. It's really tough to explain. Has anyone been able to rid themselves of this with meds, and if so, what meds? I'd absolutely LOVE to know. I took Lithium briefly to stabilize my moods, but developed "metal mouth" and decided the metallic taste was too bothersome to continue. I guess that's another question. If someone out there has taken Lithium and also developed metal mouth, does it go away? I was only on a very low dose of 300mg and the taste came on after only three to five days.
Coincidences are sometimes so funny :) I'm here right now because I forgot to take my meds and so I noticed I couldn't sleep. I went to the web to search for a sentence I remember I've read somewhere ("your mind has always been this noisy") and got here. Informative thread, I'm not alone!! :)
The worst mind noise I'm experiencing is my own voice inside my head going on and on, trying to figure things out and also plan ahead.
I believe what's happening for me is simply a case of unsorted information overflow, giving rise to lots and LOTS of confusion and thoughts. This all happened to me through the use of psychedelic drugs which opened up my senses, and then meeting my ex-girlfriend who turned out to be quite a depressive and psychotic person.
When adding Zoloft into the equation, things got better, the neural activation seemed to stay longer and more of my thoughts started making sense again, I was able to focus better 'n so.
But what has really made a big difference is a small dose of Risperdal. The bad thing about it is that I'm often feeling emotionally numb (compared to a year ago, but not compared to before I started using psychdelics). However the magnitude of my feelings now seem to be closely related to where I put my focus. Without Risperdal, controlling where to put my focus was very hard, my mind seemed to value some things higher than others, and many thoughts were disrupted because I couldn't get a really clear focus of almost anything except for the feelings of other people - where my perception has grown immensely. I'm also experiencing some sort of ESP around this, and I've started to explore some aspects of healing here, but I'm not really sure what's going on.
What's also new in my head is that I can see geometric objects or formations of objects, often moving, along with thoughts I'm having. It's dependent on how clearly I understand the subject, and to my focus to the mental visual effects. When combined with me being physically very close to another human being, the objects are more colorful.
All of these extra dynamics in my psyche has become much less intrusive since I've started using Risperdal. I've been taking 1mg/day for about a month now.
I feel I have a lot more to learn about the drugs effects, but so far it's really made my practical life a whole lot easier. Not quite sure how to tackle the emotional aspect though, but I do believe it will all go over once enough of the unsorted information has been sorted. When possible, I'm trying to minimize my impressions and just let my thoughts rise. Also I'm listening more to slow 'n soft music now, to see if that helps in relaxing my attitude towards all this inner chaos.
I would love to hear more about peoples experiences with this "mind noise", have you thought about how it works for you?