Posted by KimberlyDi on September 17, 2003, at 17:02:29
In reply to I need the truth about Dexedrine. (long post), posted by zarathustra on September 16, 2003, at 2:43:38
I stated in another post that *real life*, the *real world*, is unique to everyone. Your individual reality is how you perceive your world. How you feel and think is everything, to you.
My experience in school was different. I made straight A's without trying. I was the quiet one that the teacher's adored. Painfully shy. I endured very little harrassment by other kids because I was simply beneath their notice. Music and math were my favorites. Music because it moves my spirit and math because it has rules. Memorize the rules and you can achieve perfection every time.
So much talent. Musically gifted on the piano, but I hated to play for others. Zero ambition. I loved to learn... everything. One of those people who knows alittle about everything, and alot about nothing. When I go to a doctor's office, I tell him what's wrong with me. Because I've already researched it thoroughly.
<smile> 3 paragraphs to go through. not nearly as long as yours. The point is:
I don't have many friends. I am married, for the 4th time, to a semi-stranger. So many times, I look at him, and wonder.. "is that all?" just food, sex, practical jokes & sleep? that's all he needs and thinks about? what about theories? analyzing things? learning new things? seeing the world?
He doesn't think like I do. Hardly anyone does. I'm an oddball and sometimes even take pride in being unique. other times i realize i'm destined to lead a lonely existance. even as a child, i had thoughts that God was a scientist and i was his experiment. nothing existed except for me and God monitored how i reacted in an environment that he controlled.
I don't get much pleasure out of life. The majority of people live life in pursuit of pleasure, be it sex, good food, fun, wine or whiskey. I can't deal with the thought that I'm just an animal on one planet in one of many galaxies.
I was depressed, and self-medicating with alcohol. Now I take Effexor and I don't look through depression-tainted eyes. I still feel different from everyone else. I'm newly diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and now take Strattera. It helps me focus which helps me to complete my 1001 halfway finished projects... But I'm still an oddball.
Enjoy what you are feeling while it lasts, if the medicine makes you feel better. The way you feel is your reality. If you feel better, you are better.
KDi in Texas
poster:KimberlyDi
thread:260543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030917/msgs/261083.html