Posted by Arrianna on August 19, 2003, at 12:23:51
In reply to Re: What time to take Lex? » Arrianna, posted by galkeepinon on August 19, 2003, at 0:44:28
Hi Gal! Thank You! Thank You! And, Thank You! Your post has been the light of my day so far. Woke up really groggy this morning, and with a headache. Took my lex earlier last night than usual. So, thinking that is why?
I really do appreciate your support and understanding. At the time I dropped out of school, I think it is what I needed to do. It was the right decision for me then, but still at times I have some regret. My family doesn't help either. They don't understand my illnesses- nor, the importance of taking time to take care of me. It's frustrating with them at times, but I'm the one who has to stay true to me.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Gambling addiction is one of the toughest! I also have an aunt who is a compulsive gambler, and had an uncle who was as well. Then my "ex"step-dad was/is an alcoholic. It truly does run in the genes.
I don't know if you've heard or not, but many studies have been done, and the effect gambling has on the brain is just like that of cocaine, heroin and alcohol. The only difference is how you take the drug.
I really don't know how I did it. I'm still amazed that I'm free from gambling today. It ruled and controlled my life to the fullest. I guess with my gambling, I just got really sick and tired of the pain to the point that I didn't even enjoy it anymore. The last time I went, I lost my rent money, and had to force the tears from coming when I was still gambling. I was so miserable. It was then that I finally surrendered to this thing. It took many trys, but I finally realized that I couldn't control it nor would I ever win. So, "surrender" and "acceptance".
Also, I really wanted recovery. I wanted a better life, I wanted to be a better person- free of addiction. I truly believe that in order for one to be successful with recovery, one has to want recovery more than gambling (or whatever the drug is). But, what really has saved me is GA. Without GA, I don't know where I'd be. The support and fellowship of the group is so crucial.
Thanks also for your interest in how i did it: I love talking about it- to anyone who will listen. I also need to.
How's your relationship with your dad? That has to be hard, too. He has to quit when he's ready. Only the addict knows when they're ready to do it. Until then, (most likely and unfortunately), nothing will work. But, there is hope.
I don't know your situation with your dad or anything, but if you're interested or haven't checked it out already, there is Al-Anon and Gam-Anon. It could be a huge help for you.
Also, want to give you a BIG THUMBS UP for doing what you're doing!! You're breaking the cycle by not only going to school, but by bettering yourself as a person. It is a tough road, but your rewards will be worth it! It's got to be one of the hardest things to stop the pattern of illness, but you are and can do it! And, your determination to keep trying gives me strength to never give up. "We meet failure on the road to success".
Thanks again, Gal! It's been great getting to know you better here, and I hope we can continue to support eachother.
Hugs,
Arrianna
poster:Arrianna
thread:250268
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030818/msgs/252153.html