Posted by Yankeegirl on July 23, 2003, at 23:26:51
In reply to Re: Hi All... » willie, posted by CherC68 on July 22, 2003, at 19:22:37
> Thanks Willie, Susy & Kimberly & everyone for listening to my breakdown yesterday.
> I didn't go to the movies today, I'm a bit tired since I got up every 1-1/2 hours last night to drain the water in the basement. I'm conducting a test now to see how long it takes the hole to fill up. At least I can manually plug the pump in to drain - but I need to know the exact hours it takes to fill up. It's finally sunny here and no rain this evening predicted so hopefully the ground will dry up a bit.
> Yes, Eat A Peach has gotten to open up for some awesome bands, but The Wallflowers was the most fun by far, I got to sit on stage and hang out in the green room.
> Today I listened to some Poi Dog Pondering another favorite band and its more uplifting.
> I have a list of PDocs & Therapists, but no energy to actually call one of them. I see the hand specialists on Saturday and don't know how much out of pocket I will have to pay for the surgery, and don't want to start getting into debt with doctors since I just seen the dentist and that cost so far 200 out of pocket.
> I am hoping I don't have another breakdown like I did yesterday and since my husband and son will be home tomorrow - I should be fine. My son will always be home with me for now on when my husband is out of town, because I realize I'm much stronger when my son is around. (I have to be for him.)
> Thanks for getting me through a rough day yesterday everyone and thanks for listening.
> Hi Cher, I totally understand how you don't have the energy to call a pdoc. That is the major clue for me that I am depressed, is that a simple phone call is too overwhelming to accomplish. (I used to get seasonal affective disorder, or winter blues, and that was my main reaction to it)
I don't know why nobody on this site talks about what they learn in therapy. My understanding is that the Effexor is only part of a successful treatment, that some kind of therapy is necessary too, for most people. Well, I've been on Eff 4 weeks, but today was the first time I actually had a talk with my pdoc. What a revelation! We went over the results of my psychiatric personality testing (called Minnesota something or other, I'll find out the name next week) where I answered about 700 true-false questions. I was diagnosed with depression and avoidant personality disorder. When she read the description of that from the (DSM?) book, I kept saying, "That's me! That's me!" I am SO HAPPY and EXCITED tonight. My problem has a name! They know how to fix me! They assured me I am fixable! I am so excited!
Cher, I urge you to make that one phone call for a pdoc. If you can't do it, maybe your son or husband will do it for you. I think that your mental health is more important right now than your carpal tunnel surgery. It's pretty scary for us to hear how deep in the depression you are right now, and I hope you can decide to put your needs first and foremost, for the first time maybe, and get the help you are needing. The hope I feel today is worth any amount of money. I am so excited about my pdoc helping me that I would do anything legal to pay for it - I'd even ask relatives for money. First I'd call all the ones who bullied me all my childhood - HA! "This is your fault - give me money!!!"
Seriously, please call a psychiatist today!
Sending caring prayers, Yankeegirl