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Re: Cher, Susy, Kdi, Theo, Zinya, Mercedes willie

Posted by zinya on July 23, 2003, at 20:40:22

In reply to Re: Cher, Susy, Kdi, Theo, Zinya, Mercedes, posted by willie on July 23, 2003, at 19:02:36

hi Willie,

i think this is the first time i'm writing you - i was kind of on overload when you started writing, i think... Thanks for your wishes.

i completely share your feelings about this group. What a lifeline. And how quickly i've come to feel close to people here, developing vague images of what people look like over time and sensing a kind of "knowledge" which is unique cuz we dive into to areas we don't talk readily to anybody else about. My best friends know what i'm going through but it's too boring, imo, to drag them through specifics that would alarm them disproportionately sometimes and to sense here that people have "been there" in varying ways... Also that we're all exploring together, trying to piece (detective-like) our individual bits of perspective -- about what depression and anxiety even really are, much less how to deal with them ...

I gather you're from eastern Canada? like Nova Scotia or somewhere? (you don't have to answer if you don't want to get specific) but i have exotic images of what eastern Canada must be like. I was in Montreal once and took the CNR (which i think they derailed a few years ago, right?) across to Vancouver - that was 30 yrs ago... 3 days and nights through such varying countryside, but that's all i know of Canada directly... plus a couple of trips to Vancouver... but i doubt you're from there or that would mean you're going to bed at 6 pm :)) but maybe...

Given your moniker here (and my own absentmindedness), i just now realized that you're a woman! :)) It sounds like you have a key quality in that husband of yours :) ... and with time and self-messages you can even start to believe him! :)

To Daphne as well as you, i too very much relate to having the notion of "If he only knew the true me." I've had those times and kinds of dynamics in my life too ... It's kind of like that romance advice i mentioned the other day in another post which i'd learned and still means so much to me, easier to say than do but so important..

As to your question on dosages, I'm afraid I'm rather "stubborn" and resistant to doing what doctors tell me if i sense my body telling me something different. So i've been only increasing my dosage at the rate and pace that i felt ready for ... I waited pretty much to make sure i wasn't feeling side effects anymore at that level (except for the sweating which has become so constant it seems i couldn't wait for that one to quit but i at least waited til i didn't real any more dizziness or other weird feelings in my head and then stayed a couple or a few days more at that level to make sure and then moved on.

How much did he give you at 37.5? Does he want you back to see him before they expire? Maybe he's planning to decide then. Maybe the dosage levels are different for OCD??

If your md. only talked about 37.5, then i probably wouldn't go to a higher level without asking him (or her) first, i think. Sounds wise to see if increase in work stress might be skewing your perceptions.

I guess i felt more "stubborn" cuz it meant for me going slower than my md. had suggested. But i probably wouldn't have gone faster than my md. suggested, which is why i'm suggesting you talk to him (or her) before moving up if all that was mentioned was 37.5.

with well wishes and sweet dreams to far off Canada :)





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