Posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
This might be a somewhat lengthy post, but I would truely appreciate anybody in a patient state of mind willing to reply since I don't see my counselor for a few weeks. I just wanted to present an upcoming situation of mine and see if anyone had some personal stories or advice to help sway my discouragement.
I will be starting graduate school this fall in another state, far away from any family or friends, although this is kind of what I wanted.
My concern lies in the fact that the last couple years of undergraduate was very rocky with more frequent cyclothymic peaks and valleys, and as strong as I try to be, it has created in me a sense of incompetency and a challenge when looking ahead to the furthur demands of the next couple of years. I am very passionate about the field I'm going into, but even that as a motivational aspect has been contaminated so to speak with my escalating alcohol and drug use. Although I can be quite personal, I have been more isolated and anti-social lately more than ever and my social phobia/anxiety has been exacerbated by that. Just what I don't need to be doing before trying to get through a 2-year graduate degree. It makes me feel so emotionally weak and powerless and it takes every last bit of mental energy to rationalize everything. On the flipside, I've also learned how to develope helpful adapting skills so that I don't feel like I'm totally falling apart. But the bottom line is that I just have this sinking feeling that the next few months are going to make me or break me.
poster:bampf
thread:243108
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030718/msgs/243108.html