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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
This might be a somewhat lengthy post, but I would truely appreciate anybody in a patient state of mind willing to reply since I don't see my counselor for a few weeks. I just wanted to present an upcoming situation of mine and see if anyone had some personal stories or advice to help sway my discouragement.
I will be starting graduate school this fall in another state, far away from any family or friends, although this is kind of what I wanted.
My concern lies in the fact that the last couple years of undergraduate was very rocky with more frequent cyclothymic peaks and valleys, and as strong as I try to be, it has created in me a sense of incompetency and a challenge when looking ahead to the furthur demands of the next couple of years. I am very passionate about the field I'm going into, but even that as a motivational aspect has been contaminated so to speak with my escalating alcohol and drug use. Although I can be quite personal, I have been more isolated and anti-social lately more than ever and my social phobia/anxiety has been exacerbated by that. Just what I don't need to be doing before trying to get through a 2-year graduate degree. It makes me feel so emotionally weak and powerless and it takes every last bit of mental energy to rationalize everything. On the flipside, I've also learned how to develope helpful adapting skills so that I don't feel like I'm totally falling apart. But the bottom line is that I just have this sinking feeling that the next few months are going to make me or break me.
Posted by ian24 on July 18, 2003, at 8:06:01
In reply to NEED SOME SOUL/SPIRIT advice!, posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
Hi Bamf,
I know how you feel. In undergrad my drinking was spiraling out of control and my anxiety turned into panic every day except friday thru sunday when I drank hard. I would have isolated if I could but I didn't have the choice. Ok, to the point. I'm in aa.Also, you may just be self medicating the anxiety and not have some addiction thing too who knows. They say that if you can't control how much you drink take once you start and if you can't control when you start then you MIGHT and I stress might be an addict or alcoholic. I DO NOT presume anything. Only the individual can. As for isolation I still did that after I quit. Prayer works great for me on fear of people and stuff. Still struggle with some addictive behaviors though I have to admit. I hope this helps .
Posted by ProzacPuppet on July 18, 2003, at 10:44:43
In reply to NEED SOME SOUL/SPIRIT advice!, posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
Just take each day as it comes. The past is where it should be and your future is right now. You have to understand that you control your life, and where it will lead you. Nobody else but you. If you think that in the next couple of months that you will collapse from the pressure, then mostly likely, you will. It's a little thing called cause and effect. baby, cause and effect. So what if you did a lot of drinking, and drugs, who hasn't? Gees. I myself had spent my first year at university chugging beer day and night while lining up the coke for breakfast. I did it to myself and my grades went way down like my self esteem did. People said I would never make anything of myself, and if I had of believed them I'd probably be still stuck in that vicious circle I was in. If I actually cared what anyone else said about any of my imperfections I would have screwed up my life completely. But instead of taking in any insults from other people or from my own inner thoughts, I flip them around to use them to my advantage, that is, that I think about why I am feeling that way, or why someone has pointed out something they dislike about me and then I use it for my own advantage by making myself strive to be better at that quality. Because I know that I can change, that I am capable of being better at the things I do. Everything we believe causes an effect, so if you believe that the next few months are going to horribly hard and too difficult for you to handle, then most likely you will cause it to happen just to confirm your own beliefs. So be clear right now on what it is you are about to face and achieve, for that, you will maintain control.
Posted by jemma on July 18, 2003, at 12:46:55
In reply to NEED SOME SOUL/SPIRIT advice!, posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
I've been where it sounds like you might be - alcohol and drug use out of control, increasing withdrawal, isolation, depression, and anxiety. The only thing that worked for me finally was AA. Most colleges have a group that meets on campus, and the members are often young, smart, hip, and not into any kind of organized religion. I spent most of my life feeling like a Martian - AA turned out to be a place that Martians hang out.
Good luck with whatever strategy you decide on. As the previous poster said, it helps to try taking things one day at a time.
Jemma
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 18, 2003, at 16:58:53
In reply to NEED SOME SOUL/SPIRIT advice!, posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
First of all, if I were you, I would make an attempt to quit focusing so much on what happened the last time and what you are afraid might happen this time. I went through a vaguely similar situation... one where I crashed emotionally and ended up in the hospital one year ago. Coming up upon the 1-year anniversary, with the same daunting work tasks ahead of me, I made a plan. It involved getting put back on AD's, arranging therapy, and increasing my support group. I made a list of the things I HAD to accomplish, not what I thought I "should have" accomplished. It was very basic. Down to every morning, I eat a healthy breakfast. Every day I went to work, even though the stress was driving me crazy. I didn't skip meals. I made sure I slept. Work & my health. Basic. I made it.
You can too.
Good luck, KDi in TX> This might be a somewhat lengthy post, but I would truely appreciate anybody in a patient state of mind willing to reply since I don't see my counselor for a few weeks. I just wanted to present an upcoming situation of mine and see if anyone had some personal stories or advice to help sway my discouragement.
> I will be starting graduate school this fall in another state, far away from any family or friends, although this is kind of what I wanted.
> My concern lies in the fact that the last couple years of undergraduate was very rocky with more frequent cyclothymic peaks and valleys, and as strong as I try to be, it has created in me a sense of incompetency and a challenge when looking ahead to the furthur demands of the next couple of years. I am very passionate about the field I'm going into, but even that as a motivational aspect has been contaminated so to speak with my escalating alcohol and drug use. Although I can be quite personal, I have been more isolated and anti-social lately more than ever and my social phobia/anxiety has been exacerbated by that. Just what I don't need to be doing before trying to get through a 2-year graduate degree. It makes me feel so emotionally weak and powerless and it takes every last bit of mental energy to rationalize everything. On the flipside, I've also learned how to develope helpful adapting skills so that I don't feel like I'm totally falling apart. But the bottom line is that I just have this sinking feeling that the next few months are going to make me or break me.
Posted by DixieGirl on July 20, 2003, at 10:50:13
In reply to NEED SOME SOUL/SPIRIT advice!, posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
It is perfectly normal for you to look ahead and have fears from the past come along and hang out. Our bodies are great at remembering reactions to things we can't consciously remember. The anxiety you are feeling is probably exactly that - a recall to a past event that is similar to a future one.
Cut yourself some slack and realize your limitations. There is nothing wrong with feeling excited and scared at the same time. You can learn from your past mistakes and don't have to make them again. You can be stronger than you think you are able to be. You don't have to overcome every obstacle in front of you - real or imagined - right now. Focus on the very immediate and hold on to your accomplishments. It sounds like you have much to take pride in. You fell down; so what? You also got back up and there is a lot to be said for that.
You can do it. You already have.
DixieGirl
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 21, 2003, at 18:33:36
In reply to NEED SOME SOUL/SPIRIT advice!, posted by bampf on July 18, 2003, at 7:27:43
> I just wanted to present an upcoming situation of mine and see if anyone had some personal stories or advice to help sway my discouragement.
That's fine, but since it doesn't sound medication-related, I've redirected this to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/244061.html
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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