Posted by fluffy on November 14, 2002, at 11:19:05
In reply to Re: Is there ever a normal after a BP diagnosis?, posted by Krysti on November 13, 2002, at 18:12:38
HI Krysti--
Thanks for responding. I was feeling so guilty about my diagnosis--like I caused this to happen...like "if only I could have controlled myself better...or If I could have controlled my thinking I would not be this way". I was thinking that I made myself this way and that I couldn't trust the doctors to diagnose me correctly. When I read all ot the threads about BP, I just KNEW that it was what was going on with me. I wondered if I talked myself into it. (do you know what I mean?)
I had a great session with my therapist the other day, though. He said, "do you think you WANTED to be this way?" Of course, I don't!! But it was relieving because I realized that I was acting like a victim of rape or something...like I brought this on myself.
It doesn't help that my friends and family think that I'm making excuses--that I just need to believe in God and this wouldn't have happened...or that I could snap out of it.
I'm just trying to BE now.--and trying to trust my pdoc. The neurontin makes me feel like a space cadet--but the anxiety has subsided a bit. And I'm able to see more clearly.
Thanks again!! Please write more if you have the energy...it makes me feel better to know there are others out there!!
poster:fluffy
thread:127130
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021108/msgs/127619.html