Posted by McPac on October 22, 2002, at 23:34:52
In reply to Re: Lucid Description » BarbaraCat, posted by Ponder on October 22, 2002, at 21:49:47
Ponder "A few years ago, I was put on Effexor. This drug, without a mood stabilizer, was the death of my career. I felt better for awhile, then the horrible mixed states--the restlessness, irritability, need to dominate every business meeting, getting unreasonably angry with people, getting fixated on a specific point and holding up the progression of a meeting by harping on it, pacing, pouting, crying, complaining -- all this from someone who had earned an exemplary leadership award the year before for positive leadership and role modeling!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This same thing happened to me...but I may have a 'twist' to add to the story. Let me explain. I was taking my Zoloft along with a very small Lithium dose for YEARS. Then, I decided to try to go off the Lithium. I went through a terrible withdrawal-like state after stopping the Lithium (EXTREME anger). Then, after quite a long while, I felt more 'normal'...in the sense that I felt like the withdrawal was over. But still, even long after the Lithium withdrawal effects were over and done with, I still had frequent bursts of terrible, terrible anger/temper.....that wasn't the 'real' me at all. Well, during this time I constantly figured that I had a terrible anger/temper/irritability problem and that I definitely needed something for it. And then I read a few posts here that got me thinking...and I reflected on things a lot and REALLY began getting curious..........I recalled how I never had much of a temper problem before, if at all, even during all the years I had terrible depression and OCD......then, about 10 years ago, I was put on Prozac...along with the Lithium...the Prozac made me absolutely "Mr. Volcano", erupting with terrible anger and unreal temper and agitation (although it is a great med for many, I can CLEARLY see how it could cause somebody to go off the deep-end and go totally haywire!)....I got off that crap very fast! A while later, I was put on Zoloft...also along with the very low Lithium dose.....and for 9 years I had the best years of my life. It was then, about a year or more ago, that I quit the Lithium and experienced the (anger) withdrawal effects...then the terrible anger, terrible irritability came back...and I thought that I must have a terrible anger problem...BUT....here is the question for me (and maybe for you as well Ponder?)-------Do "I" have the terrible anger problem OR does the Zoloft (another SSRI, like Prozac) CAUSE the anger??? When I take a small lithium dose, the anger is kept under control well (even the lithium though was NO match for the Prozac however..I STILL felt ANGRY!)....so that is my $64,000 question! How can I tell which it is.."me" or the Zoloft? Well, I stopped the Zoloft and started Remeron in its place...even WITHOUT the lithium...and...no anger! Which leads me to believe that maybe I DON'T have the anger component...maybe my med (Zoloft,Prozac) gave it to me! I had NO anger the brief time on the Remeron. I have read here, and on Dr. Amen's site, that Zoloft and other SSRI's can INDUCE that anger. Unfortunately for me, the adrenaline side effect from the high-dose Remeron SUCKS and I now take my Zoloft, with lithium, again. If a non-SSRI anti-dep. EVER comes out on the market that works for BOTH OCD and depression, then maybe I can switch and finally see for sure if the anger was med-induced.
Ponder "After awhile, more OCD-like symptoms emerged making me feel even more driven and out of control. The whole damned thing finally came crashing down so hard, I couldn't think straight enough to do laundry. I was terrified and overwhelmed in just going to the grocery store, had trouble leaving the house at all. Through in a series of earthquakes and 9-11 and my memories of that period of my life are a seamless black sphere."
>>>>>>>>>>>Are you taking anything for OCD?Ponder "I also take vitamins, fish oils, zinc, selenium, biotin. I exercise an hour and a half a day, use a light box, do yoga --jeesh, it's nearly a full time job just doing all the stuff that's supposed to help!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I would suggest taking Folic Acid as well.
Ponder "Do you also experience "loss of insight" when your illness worsens? I look back on the last year of my career and can't believe I didn't realize something awful was happening.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>YES! Looking back after the 'storm', I always clearly see what I wasn't clearly able to see during the 'storm'!
Take care my friends!
poster:McPac
thread:31636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/124801.html